Just a Little While Longer
by Blackroseseeker
Summary: What happens if the watch is never messed with, and the doctor's plan to wait out the family of blood goes without a hitch. Well a least as far as surviving goes.
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Doctor who because if I did the Doctor would have noticed Martha. **

The doctor was falling for her. He spent more and more time with her and she obviously returned his affection. The only problem was she was not Martha Jones. No she was Joan, the schools oh so proper and very white nurse.

To make matters worse he was not The Doctor not really. He was John Smith and Martha was starting to wonder what would happen if he fell completely. How would she ever get home if she refused to listen to her to open up his watch when the time came. And that time was still almost a month away. Martha needed a plan and she needed one quick.


	2. It Always Hurts

**To be honest I don't know where this is headed. I just got an idea from reading lots of one shots. I thought how would things have turned out if Timothy never opened the watch leaving the doctor undisturbed to fall in love, and Martha with a huge dilemma on her hands.**

Martha gently knocks at the door with one hand while using her other hand and hip to support a tray topped with all the things necessary for a nice Saturday tea. When she hears that voice which is so familiar and yet so different telling her to enter. She takes a deep breath quiets her nerves and opens the door.

"Ah there you are Martha what took you so long. I told you Ms. Redfern and I would be taking tea promptly at two o'clock. It's seven past now" John Smith said in much the same tone of voice he used when one of the boys committed some minor infraction.

"Mr. Smith don't be so hard on the poor girl you haven't even found out why she's late yet, and it is only seven minutes. Now Martha what took you?" Ms. Joan Redfern asks smiling generously.

"There was a spill in the kitchen and I helped clean it up before coming up here I am sorry for being late" Martha says in as an apologetic tone as she can muster. Neither Joan nor John notice anything off about her demeanor and she supposes that's the silver lining to having everyone think they know you by the color of your skin. They never look closely enough to recognize what they wouldn't like.

"See John I knew Martha would have a good reason she is such a hard worker. Now what was it you where saying you wanted to show me. " Joan said turning to John.

Joan had smiled conspiratorially at Martha. The way you smile at a young child who you've just saved from a parents frustration. Martha hoped the smile she gave in return didn't look like a grimace. The idea of being patronized so overtly made her want to scream. The worst part was that the woman actually thought she was being kind, but this line of thought was quickly interrupted as then John set down upon the couch next to Joan with a journal that Martha recognized.

"Martha pour the tea. Ms Redfern how do you take your tea?." John asked positively beaming, like a teenage boy at his first girlfriend. Martha could fill the prick behind her eyes and forced the feeling into the pit of her stomach where it couldn't give her away. Although should wouldn't be able to eat the rest of the day without throwing up. It wasn't just the look on his face that got to Martha though that was bad enough. It was the journal so far he had only shown it to her. Part of her had wanted to believe it was because deep down he remembered who she was even if it was Rose's face that featured in his drawings instead of her's. She thought perhaps he feels he can only trust me with this on some level. She hadn't realized how badly she wanted that to be true until the very moment he was about to trust another women.

Some how she had managed to prepare the tea through her inner turmoil. As she passed them their cups she would of hoped she had done it right, but honestly she was beyond caring. Her doctor was in the midst of breaking her heart yet again and he was completely oblivious to it. She supposed some things never changed no matter how badly you wanted them too. Just when she thought her heart couldn't break anymore in one day. Her melancholy reflections were broken by the sound of Joan's voice. "You know Mr. Smith you may call me Joan." Which was responded to with a quiet yet resolute "I would like that and please it's John." Martha may not have been intimate with turn of the century courting customs but she knew enough to know what had just happened was significant. If nothing else it could only mean getting her Doctor back would be that much more difficult.

Knowing she couldn't hold out much longer she asked if they needed anything else. When the answer was no she wondered if perhaps there was someone out there looking out for. She quickly left the room and then went straight to her bike. As soon as she was sure no one was looking she pedaled for all she was worth. Straight to an old shed that held the TARDIS. She practically throw herself inside. Her scream started almost before the TARDIS door was closed. She went from screaming to sobbing and back again never taking notice of the difference between the two. She let all the emotion Rush through her that had to been building for the past two months.

She screamed and cried for over half an hour. When she was done she found herself in her room. Martha was quite surprised though because even though she was physically as tired as she expected she should be her mind was crystal clear. She set her alarm to wake her in two hours. She was gonna need sleep to work on a plan, and if she was sure of one thing it was she needed one hell of a good plan.

**Okay so now that I'm getting into the story I would appreciate some feed back on this chapter.**


	3. The Best Laid Plans

**I don't know what happened I thought I had already posted this chapter, but when I went to post the next one this was not up. Sorry for the delay. On the bright side you get two chapters in one day. :) enjoy.  
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Martha awoke two hours later very glad that she had already procured the evening off. She had about four and a half hours until she was expected back she noted. That gave her four hours to plan. Her mood was much better after her much needed emotional venting and nap. It got even brighter when she realized there was no reason she shouldn't take a soak. The TARDIS may have been running low so the power out put would go undetected but that still left the old girl with plenty of power to warm some water.

Less then three minutes later Martha was letting out a sigh as she sunk into a bath that was just the right temperature. She had thought to bring her alarm in the bathroom with her and set it for another two hours. She had considered spending the whole time in the tube but she was feeling better and wanted to try eating before her return. "Thank you so much" she said. It turned out the TARDIS had known what she needed and had prepared it already. Martha knew the TARDIS was conscious on some level. The Doctor had said the TARDIS liked her. Yet this was a first, and Martha was not about to complain.

Now all she needed was to think. How could she ensure the doctor would open the watch on time that was the first order of business. She could consider what to do about him and Joan later if there was anything to be done. Martha was nothing if not practical she knew just telling him he was really a Time Lord and his dreams where true would never work. She would only resort to that as a last resort or in an emergency. No, Martha Jones needed a way to get the man to open a pocket watch he barely even knew he owned. Sure that was great for stopping him from opening it before the scheduled time but how was she supposed to get him to open it without seeming daft.

That's when she remembered the conversation between one of the teachers and the Headmaster the other day. They were complementing John on being so good with the boys. He'd said something about John's method being so successful at such a young age. That was the key the Headmaster had said "so skilled and not even thirty yet." the other teacher had then said, "Yes, which reminds me his birthday is coming up next month is it not. We should do something. Him being so new and all, make him feel more at home. We wouldn't want to lose him after all." That was it his birthday was two days after the date he'd said it would be safe to open the watch. Who would question her having his old watch fixed for him. She was sure it had to be common for an old pocket watch to run a little slow. The only problem was how would she explain having the money to have the watch fixed, and what if someone talked to the watch maker there was only one in the small town. That could be a problem but she knew the gift Idea might be her only hope she had to make it work. She finished her soak feeling a little less brilliant then she had at first. How could she be so close to a solution and not be able to work out the details. Maybe having a watch fixed would be less expensive then she thought. She could look into it, but then the watchmaker would be expecting her to return with the watch if it wasn't to expensive and that would never do. She had to be careful.

"Why does the watchmaker have to be so close to the staff of Farringham School?" Martha lamented.

Oh, well she'd figure something out she had to besides she hadn't really expected to fix all her problems in one afternoon. Her best ideas always came on her feet anyways. Just then her alarm went off. She got out the tube, dried off, and got dressed. She moved slower then necessary because she knew she would soon have to consider what to do about the growing closeness of Joan and The Doctor. Wondering into the kitchen she found a can of soup that was still good and fixed herself a pot of tea. Setting down to her simple meal she mentally prepared herself for the task at hand.

As soon as she began to ponder that particular problem she began to wonder if she even should do anything about. They were adults, and if she could iron the wrinkles out of her plan she wouldn't have to worry about being stuck there. Sure she didn't know if The Doctor would remember or not but it might serve him right with all he'd put her through. She knew the past was better not having to worry about documentation so much, but would it have been that hard to have gone to Canada instead.

Still, Martha could not bring herself to just sit back. She would never want The Doctor to suffer like that, and besides Joan really was a nice woman she was just raised in the wrong era. Martha couldn't really hate her; when she was thinking clearly anyways. What she would never admit to herself is that she still held out some hope. She sadly admitted though that Joan and the The Doctor's heart break might just be inevitable. She really did feel sorry for Joan most. Even if the Doctor did remember who's to say he'd feel the same when he was back to himself. She could simply try to make herself more appealing to The Doctor she supposed. With that thought Martha made some sound that sounded like a mixture between laughter, crying, and a cough. She couldn't get The Doctor to notice her when he thought her brilliant. No way John was gonna notice his simple black maid; not like that anyways.

Then again maybe that was the perfect plan. Maybe she should stop acting so simple. She could let her guard 'slip' a little bit. She had no delusions that the young school teacher with the promising career ahead of him would throw it all away for her. That wasn't the point she just needed to spark his interest a little. Be enough of a distraction that he didn't fall for Ms. Redfern quite so fast. Without the full weight of Rose's memory she might actually have a shot at this.

"This could actually work. I'll just be sure no one expects I like John, especially Joan" Martha thought aloud. "Besides what's more appealing initially then an enigma and someone who doesn't want you back." With only one month left initially was all she needed. With that she tidied the kitchen, and went to change back into her 1913 clothes. Oh, how good it felt to be dressed normally for a couple of hours. On the way back to the school her spirits were decidedly higher. She had a plan for both her problems even if one still needed the details worked out. Things were looking up. Though her high spirits partially stemmed from the hope that The Doctor would remember everything if her plan worked. There was no reason not to get something from this horrible experience after all.

**Okay likes dislikes ambivalent perspectives. I crave them all. So gimme gimme gimme. Seriously though this is only my second fan fic ever for anything and my first multi chapter, so feedback is exceedingly good if you want good stuff from me in the future. **


	4. A Change for the Better?

**So I was not able to update as soon as I would of liked to, but know that I'm past mother's day, my father's b-day, best friends graduation and wedding (both out of town) and the run of the play I should be updating much more often.**

**As always I don't own Doctor Who and I've come to accept the fact that I never will. _'Sniff Sniff Tear'_ **

**Anyways enjoy.**

It had been a week. No, it had been a week yesterday! Now was the end of the first day of the second week, and still Martha's plan seemed to be failing. "Why did I ever think this would work" she wondered. She didn't know which of the new developments were worse. There was the fact that even though Rose had apparently stopped featuring in his dreams Joan seemed to accredit that to herself, or at least was trying to get John to. Then there was the way John seemed to regard her now. He looked at her like a difficult puzzle to be solved instead of an intriguing young woman. When one of the boys had twisted his ankle playing cricket she'd been more then ready to go retrieve Nurse Redfern.

"I'll go get Ms. Redfern I know it might just be a sprang, but what if he fractured his navicular or cuboid." She had rushed her words leaving everyone thinking she was so concerned for the boy she hadn't even thought about her words. As she ran into the school she could feel everyone staring at her back. "Perfect" she thought. "That time in high school drama club was so worth it."

Then the next day one of Joan's lamps had stopped working. Luckily for Martha she'd been scrubbing the floor outside her office when she'd asked John if he knew anything about lamps. "Sorry, but I'm no good with electrical things Joan."

"Um excuse me, but I think I can help." Martha had said with a voice like a little girl wanting nothing more then be useful to others, and her expression matched perfectly.

"Well it's not working anyways so why not." John had said half looking to Joan.

"Okay I guess so." Joan had reluctantly allowed.

Martha interred Joan's office and proceeded to take apart the lamp. She had it fixed in fifteen minutes time. Of course Martha had disassembled and reassembled so many lamps and gadgets while growing up she could probably of done it with her eyes closed. Joan had been to amazed to say anything but a stammered thank you.

"Where did you learn about lamps Martha?" John had asked.

Luckily Martha has always thought quickly. "You remember when I use to go visit my grandparents during the summer. My uncle worked for a man who built and fixed lamps. I picked up a few things."

"I thought your fathers parents lived out in the country, and he was an only child." John said looking puzzled.

"They did but I was referring to my mother's parents. They moved back to the city after my mother got married. To be near their eldest, my uncle, who had gotten a butler position with the lamp maker I mentioned." On the outside Martha seemed completely sure of what she was saying on the inside she prayed it matched up with John's memories of her enough that he wouldn't call her on it.

"Oh, I had always thought you were going to see your father's parents that month you'd be gone each summer." John said seeming much less puzzled.

"Actually I switched off one year my dad's one year my mum's. If it's alright I should probably get back to work sir." Martha had said. Luck had been with her so far, but she wasn't willing to test how long that would last.

"Of course." Joan had found her voice.

After that incident the boys had really started talking. Wondering what other hidden talents the black maid had. Some thought of her as an oddity that one should be careful of, although they couldn't say why they felt that way. Some thought she was a mystery that would be great fun to try and solve. Some thought she should know her place better, but Martha had been so careful to stay in her place they had nothing to complain about. This led to more then one conversation about the newest edition to the maid staff among the students. Many of them going something like this.

"Don't you think the new maid is strange" one boy would say.

"I thinks it's amazing she knows so much. It's sorta a mystery don't you think." responds another.

"Mystery or strange I don't care she should know her place" the third boy inputs.

"What do you mean she's only been helpful. It's almost like she doesn't realizes she knows a lot for being who she is" the second boy would say.

"That's why it's so odd" says the first.

"Still you got to wonder what else she can do" the second would commit.

This would always spark the interest of the first boy and illicit some sought of haughty sound or commit form the third. These conversations had led to Martha's third chance to show that she wasn't just some simple girl.

It had just been Friday when some of the boys where practicing archery. Farringham's school was not just educating future soldiers but officers, and archery was a gentleman's sport. Martha was passing by after helping the stable hand carry some things out to the barn.

"Martha" one of the boys had called out. "Have you ever used a bow and arrow?"

"Once or twice" she had said thinking nothing would come of. It turned out that the archery instructor was firmly in the camp of thinking Martha a mystery to be solved. This being the case he decided to seize the opportunity to find out what else Martha could do.

"Would you like to take a shot?" The instructor had asked. He did a pour job hiding the curiosity on his face.

"Well" Martha had said turning her head towards the school more to hide the smirk she felt coming then to seem worried about her duties. Quickly turning that smirk into an excited smile she turned back. "If that would be okay I'd love to."

Between the the lessons she'd had as a young girl and The Doctor's quick refresher course when they'd gone to deal with the four things and a lizard Martha was a great marks woman. She proved it by hitting the target dead center. Then at the offer of the instructor she'd taken two more shots equally as impressive. Martha had left the class behind with all the boys either whispering about her or staring. Before she was out of ear shot she'd heard the instructor.

"Okay boys this is a class back to your practicing."

John had not been there but she knew that he was bound to hear about it, and he had. The problem was, that was when he stared looking at her like an advanced mathematical equation. Now Martha lay in bed trying desperately to fall asleep because the last thing she wanted was to stay up remembering how The doctor had been regarding her these last two days. She could take it when John had not looked at her, or regarded her as little more then a fixture in his life kinda like a piece of furniture that talked back. She could take it because that was all John. Her Doctor never looked at anything let alone anyone that way, but the look he gave her now was so much like The Doctor. It was like the time he'd been trying to figure out the connection between the Globe theater and the mysteries surrounding Shakespeare's lost play, or when he'd been trying to get the information he needed from the hospital computer. She suspected the latter was when the explanation she gave him wasn't quite satisfactory. She hated it because now when he looked at her like a thing it was if The Doctor himself was looking at her that way. So Martha Jones went to sleep that Sunday night hating that she'd ever come up with the idea.

The only good thing she could salvage in her thoughts from the past week is that she decided to get a chain to go with his watch. That at least would get him to notice it, and who wouldn't open a watch they hadn't remembered having until they received an accessory to accompany it.

Yes it was true that John had started to regard Martha as some sort of puzzle. What she didn't know is that it had as more to do with the inconsistencies in his memory and what she sometimes said than Martha herself. Martha's mother and father had started working for his parents before either of them were born. They'd spent lots of time together growing up. When she'd turned eight and started going to see her grandparents the first month of the summer he'd hated it. A whole month without Martha seemed like the worse fate at that young age. Of course a couple of years later it had become part of the norm, but he still missed her though he never told anyone but her. He'd spent more free time with Martha then anyone. That was until he turned sixteen and his parents had sat him down and told him he was growing up now and it was time he start thinking about propriety. When he was little it was okay, but a young man should not spend so much time with the help's daughter. He'd accepted what his parents had said without question. He'd always been eager to please them, but more then that he was eager the grow up and get out and see the world. If this was part of growing up then he would do it no matter how much it hurt. He told himself that he'd get over it when he was fully a man and he had sort of. He'd become very good at not thinking about those childhood memories and had even 'grown up' enough that he could barely acknowledge her as he passed by. He could never master ignoring her completely, but he could simply say her name without really looking at her. He'd worked very hard at growing up and he'd done it. Then after year's of never thinking of those child hood times with Martha she'd began to change. Well, he guessed that wasn't quite fair. No one could learn those things over night, but he'd never even known. Had he? Her mother's parent's lived in London that didn't seem right, but then again maybe it was. It's not like they gave each other a run down of there ancestry as kids, but then why had she always said that there wasn't much to tell when he'd asked about her visits to her grandparents after the third year he'd stopped asking at all. Now he wondered if there childhood friendship had meant the same to her. Did she ever care or was she humoring the son of her parents employers? What was most frustrating is that he didn't know why he even cared. John Smith settled in for the night telling himself he was just being ridiculous.

That night John dreamed as he always did. He dreamed of meeting Martha in a strange place under even stranger circumstances. When he awoke he was not remember every thing. He never could from those dreams, but some things stood out. He got out his journal of impossible things and began to write and draw still half asleep the ritual had become so automatic for him and no doubt he'd show Martha when she brought his breakfast and for a little over a week Joan as they ate their lunch together. He drew a picture of a rhinoceros standing upright. It had been called something that started with a J he couldn't quite remember. Beside it he wrote, "_Intergalactic Police? They aren't very smart but by the book honest and determined, if decidedly over zealous. J_." He also drew a picture of a large building he was somehow sure was a hospital sitting on the surface of the moon. A picture of the earth rising over the horizon was next. All he did was label these two pictures _hospital_ and _earth_ respectively. He proceeded to write out the details of the dream he could remember which never seemed to amount to a whole story just disjointed facts.

This time it read: _There was a hospital or I was in hospital. A man hunt was going on. Hospital was on the moon. Watched the earth in the sky. The hospital ended on Earth or started on Earth. Maybe it was both. No monsters this time unless you count the J. What does J stand for?_

Reading over the entry John felt sure there was more to it . Something else he could remember if he just tried hard enough. That's when Martha knocked at his door. Come in he said he knew it would be Martha with his breakfast and morning paper. As she walked in what he'd been forgetting hit him like a load of bricks. For a moment all he could do was stare with wide eyes. The moment was long enough for Martha to catch it.

"Sir are you alright?"

"Oh, uh yes yes of course." John had said to fast for anyone to believe him.

"Was it the dreams?" Martha had asked ignoring what he had said. "I see you have your journal out." She had added when he looked at her with an unreadable look.

"No, well yes, well um. Martha I think I'm gonna stop keeping the journal for a couple of days see what happens then. I'd appreciate if you didn't mention it to Joan. I mean I'll tell her about the dream of course. Just don't bring up that I'm not writing in the journal even if I have the dreams. It's only a couple of days." John stammered out.

"I don't really talk to Ms. Redfern about it." Martha sad slowly carefully choosing her words.

"Right of course not. I didn't mean the two of you would be discussing me just um. Martha you haven't told anyone else about the journal have you." John asked his question abruptly.

"No of course not." Martha answered not knowing what to think.

"Good. I should let you go. You have many many other choirs and things to attend to I'm sure. So I just let you go do what you need to do. Early start and all that so you can get done early. Enjoy the afternoon maybe. Well I don't know maybe. How would I know how much work you have today still. I'm not gonna keep you. Bye." John had rushed out while all but pushing Martha out the door.

She now stood on the other side of the door completely dumbfounded. She shook herself out of it and began to move but her mind could think of nothing else. Whatever had just happened she had no clue what was going on. Last night he'd been fine. Well as fine as he could be convinced he was just an ordinary human, but now he was acting weird. Admittedly she preferred this to what had been happening the last two days, but that didn't change the fact that his sudden jumpiness was odd.

**A N: Might things be looking up for Martha? Could anything else go wrong? How will this latest development effect Joan and John's relationship? Will John even tell Joan? How would Joan react? Find out the answer to these questions and more on the next Installment of ****Just A Little While Longer****.**

**Anyways now that my 1950's cliff hanger kick is out of my system I hoped you liked it so far, and I'd like to hear from you rather you did or not so please review. :)**


	5. The Things We Miss

**So this is chapter 5 and I don't own any of these wonderful characters still. So, without further ado here we go.**

When lunch came around Martha served Joan and John as was becoming usual. John was true to his word he did tell Joan about the dream, but when he started Martha was glad she had been standing behind the couch they were seated on because she almost dropped the vase she had been cleaning. As John finished. Joan asked if that was all.

John having been on his way to put up the journal took a deep swallow before answering, this Joan did not see as his back was to her, but Martha had most certainly noticed and couldn't stop herself form wondering why he was so nervous, now that she knew what last night's dream was about.

"Why do you say that?" John asked

"I don't know it's just the whole while you were telling the story I was expecting something stranger then normal I guess." Joan tried to explain.

Thinking quickly John decided a half truth would be best to deter suspicion. "Well when I awoke this morning I had the feeling that I should be able to remember something else, but I was unable to recall what it was."

Martha couldn't help the brief flash of hope that went across her face. Joan didn't notice but John did, and he wondered what that look had meant. At the same time Martha had caught the look of doubt that passed across Joan's face that John missed because he had looked at Martha instead. Of course Martha had been completely oblivious to John's brief shift in attention, although this had been Joan's biggest source of doubt. She couldn't understand why he had looked to Martha as if we wanted to see her response to what he had just said.

"The talking Rhinos sound scary" Martha ventured to reply, just as John was re-seating himself on the couch. Joan looked towards Martha with something like distaste for a moment before she remembered that it wasn't Martha's fault. John caught the look, and even though he wasn't sure what was behind it he suddenly discovered that he didn't like Martha being looked at that way. Luckily Martha had been busy so she hadn't noticed.

"Yes, yes they do" Joan added. "Can you just imagine how frightening it would be to be snatched away to the moon Martha?" Joan had asked this question so she could gauge Martha's reaction. Martha was so caught off guard she hesitated before answering. This was enough for Joan to catch the hesitation, but not John who had been avoiding looking at Martha since he caught himself earlier.

In that moment of hesitation Joan had almost convinced herself that she had been to abrupt. The question had caught Martha off guard and that was the only reason for it. Joan had almost silenced the small part of herself that said Martha was thinking up a way around the truth, figuring out how to keep something hidden. Then again almost has never done anyone much good.

When Martha did respond she looked up and so did John. Martha and the Doctor made eye contact for the first time since he had been John.

"Yes it is" Martha responded still so startled she barely noticed her slip.

"It is?" John simply asked.

"Well I would imagine it is." Martha rushed out. "If you are done with lunch I really should be getting the things back down to the kitchen." Martha continued breaking the unnerving eye contact that she and John had been sharing to long for anyone's comfort, because for the first time all three of them knew something had just happened and each one of the them were acutely aware that the other two had fully been in the moment with them. The only problem was none of them were quite sure what it had been or meant, and each of them saw it differently.

**So please read and review. I hope I haven't lost anyone yet and I promise this will continue and fairly quickly now that I'm on a roll.**


	6. Bedtime

**I will now be reading reviews again so please read and review. Enjoy :)**

That night as John laid down to sleep. He kept replaying what Martha had said in his head. "Yes it is." Those three simple words would not leave him. It wasn't that she had said them. It was how she had said them. The look she had on her face was amazement. Like she should of said "yes it is, but it's also so brilliant." Brilliant had Martha ever called anything brilliant. Amazing, wonderful, all those other words, but had his Martha ever referred to anything as brilliant. He didn't think so yet he was sure she would. Why was he so sure? It somehow thrilled him that he didn't know. His Martha was shaping up to be quite the mystery and now he'd admit that he was set on figuring her out.

Suddenly He realized that he'd been thinking of Martha as his, and not in the she's my servant type of way. What had gotten into him. He hadn't thought of her that way since he was a kid. Thinking back he remembered one of those childhood times he'd been so careful not to think about.

"_You're supposed to be the princess that I'm rescuing."_

"_I don't want to be the princess. The princess always has to be locked in a tower or dungeon and never does anything about it. My idea of a prince wouldn't be rescuing me I can do that myself. My idea of a prince would be taking my off to fight dragons and save villagers with him!" A very frustrated Martha had declared._

"_A princess is supposed to be to soft and delicate for that sort of thing."_

"_Then who would want to be a princess, and why would anyone want to marry one."_

"_Guys like being the hero. It's what we're supposed to do."_

He couldn't help but smile at that memory. How silly he'd been of course he'd take a woman that could stand beside him. At least he thought so there were the early dreams. That girl she'd been there for the adventure but how much help had she been most of the time. He got the feeling that it wasn't much yet he still felt he had been drawn to her. Maybe he was still as silly as that little boy on some level, especially when he thought about the other two guys he hadn't mentioned when describing his dreams. It was as if they were somehow rivals even if they were friends and a part of him knew that it was about that girl. He always thought of her as a girl like she hadn't quite grown up yet.

Well whoever the dream girl was he didn't think he cared anymore. Martha on the other hand was a different story. Maybe he was reading to much into things and it meant nothing but maybe she knew more about hospitals on the moon then she let on. If so, John wanted to know what else she knew.

Martha's response was quite puzzling. Joan laid pondering trying to go to sleep. Of course as things were going Martha was becoming quite puzzling herself. Who is she what does anyone know about her? John said they'd grown up together as her parent's worked for his, but what did anyone truly know of John for that matter. Wait what was she thinking? John may have magnificent dreams but that was just a sign of his magnificent mind. No all the disruption was Martha's fault. How dare she look at John the way she did. "Yes it is." What was she playing at? They were just dreams. To think otherwise would be absolutely ridiculous. John was way to slack with her. Either Martha needed to learn her place or she needed to go.

"Yes it is." The words kept replaying themselves over and over in Martha's head. How could she let herself make such a massive mistake. There was no denying that both Joan and John had caught it, and she wasn't about to lie to herself saying she recovered well. What a disaster.

I have to pull back she thinks. Maybe this can all blow over. There are still almost a full three weeks until it's time to go. I can not mess this up now. The Doctor is counting on me, and I will not let him down for the first time now. Martha thinks this with more than loyalty behind the conviction in that thought, but at the same time Martha is resigned. She realizes now that the Doctor will never love her. If he can't now without the full weight of Ross to hold him back he never will. If she ever had a chance it was now and boy did she just blow it. So much for smooth finesse. Where was the mystery I was suppose to invoke.

That's it I will not see hope where there is none. I will not tear out my own heart again and again. If he sees me just as a friend then I will be his friend nothing more. Martha silently vows this to herself and she means it. With those thoughts she very effectively closes her mind to a possibility of more with The Doctor. She was always good at doing what was necessary, but she is also smart and knows her own limitations. So, as she drifts off her last thought is; I think I will have to be leaving him soon.

**A N: ****Hope you're still with me and you like what I'm giving ya. If so tell me please it helps me continue and if not tell me it helps me get better.**


	7. Intermission

**AN Okay so at some point my original Ch. 3 got dropped. It's back up now. So if you don't remember Martha ever being on the TARDIS go back and read Ch. 3. I am so sorry that this happened, but hey technology what can you do? I hope you all are well., and I hope to have yet another chapter up by tomorrow for you guys.**


	8. Honest with Yourself

**Thank you so much for your feed back. I'm enjoying writing this as much as you enjoy reading it if not much more. I find myself seating down to write eager to know what happens next. So, thanks for sharing in my excitement. :)**

**Oh, and for anyone who's wondering even though I'm changing John's parents a little (making them richer) they are still dead in his mind. Also I am really messing with the memories he has of his child hood, but you probably already noticed that. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and this is now a well established fact.**

The boys were excited that Dr. John Smiths's Birthday was coming up because the Headmaster had announced that next week they would be celebrating it. For the boys this meant cake, and rather they cared are not, who doesn't love a reason to eat cake. For Timothy Latimer it also meant a chance to get the professor something to show his appreciation. Tim looked up to Dr. Smith. The fact that he had been caught sneaking around for that bully was the bad enough. The fact that it was Dr. Smith to set him straight was worse.

He remembers the talk Dr. Smith had given to him. He remembers being in his office/room. It was funny he'd been in there before and remembered seeing a watch. I guess he moved it Tim thought. It is just a watch after all, but that was just it. Even though it was just a watch he remembers how he was drawn to it the first time he saw it. He even found himself looking for it while he was being lectured. Odd that he should be so effected by a simple watch. Timothy found himself contemplating this between classes. He was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice Martha as he passed by which was odd since he was the only boy that did acknowledge her kindly before she became the mystery she now was.

As it was though it didn't matter. For Martha may have been scrubbing floors, but her mind was a million miles away. She was caught up in her thoughts of what to do about Joan. Joan had obviously decided she didn't like Martha after that incident over a week ago. It had been a week and a half and Martha had been receiving dirty looks, comments, and treatment from Ms. Redfern. Martha couldn't help but think the name with some disgust. She had to often remind herself that she had decided to tone it down least John start to get ideas and ask questions. The Dreams where proof that the Doctor hadn't been fully taken from John's head and she couldn't risk him opening the watch early. Martha had taken the watch from the mantle this past weekend. She figured it was close enough that if anyone noticed she could tell them she was getting a chain for it for his birthday and she wanted to have it with her to match it up, without rising suspicion. She had seen the drawing of the watch in his journal. Since her slip up she'd been nervous that she may of triggered something. John had been talking to her more about the past. It was almost as if he had been trying to trip her up. She'd taken to avoiding him as much as possible, unfortunately being his servant meant that wasn't much.

John had indeed been trying to make Martha slip up. He would never say it out loud, but there was something about the dreams. When he thought about them it almost felt as if they where more real then the stuff that happens while he is awake. He still thought that the he might be crazy, but after Martha said "yes it is," he couldn't let it just go. It would have been different if she hadn't been in the dream, but she was and he hadn't told her or anyone that she was. So why did it seem like she knew?

On top of everything else Joan had changed. He didn't like the way that he caught her treating Martha now. Problem was he didn't know how to say that when society said there was nothing wrong with it. Why was it was okay to treat her as less because of the color of her skin? Martha was less then no one in fact she was usually so much better.

That made John pause a moment. Had he really thought that? Martha was usually so much better he thought again. This time slower to get a good feel for the sentiment. It was true, and he found himself surprised he hadn't let himself admit this before. Seating behind his desk, as the first students for his last class of the day started to file in, John set half smiling at his own revelation. He was lost in his own world until he heard the laughter from one of the boys. The bell hadn't rung yet but the boys had noticed the expression on his face. The laughter brought him back to reality. It also reminded John why he hadn't let himself think of how wonderful Martha was before. It was the same reason that even though he'd noticed all the boys and most the male staff looking at Martha no one ever mentioned how beautiful she is. His parent's may be dead but the world would never approve either. He did not surprise himself that this thoughts came with a bitter edge. For now he remembered why he tried to block out those childhood memories with Martha. They served to make him mad at the role he was expected to play. Though that anger was more directed at himself for agreeing to what his parents had said when he was sixteen. Ignoring Martha had been a convenient way to ignore the guilt as well.

"Yes boys find your seats the bell will ring soon." John said hiding his embarrassment fairly well.

**A N: ****Hope you're still with me and you like what I'm giving ya. If so tell me please it helps me continue and if not tell me it helps me get better.**


	9. Untrue Colors

**Thank you so much for your feed back. I'm enjoying writing this as much as you enjoy reading it if not much more. I find myself seating down to write eager to know what happens next. So, thanks for sharing in my excitement. :)**

**Oh, and for anyone who's wondering even though I'm changing John's parents a little (making them richer) they are still dead in his mind. Also I am really messing with the memories he has of his child hood, but you probably already noticed that. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and this is now a well established fact.**

John sat upon his couch the same evening that he had realized how wonderful he thought Martha truly was. Martha was with him now cleaning the floor by his desk. He couldn't believe how wrong it felt.

"Martha are you happy?" John found himself asking before he even thought about what he meant by the question.

Martha looked up contemplating his question and what could have brought it on. She decided to go with a half lie. " Yes, I am most of the time." It was true she was most of the time. What were the past two and a half months compared to her whole life. There had been brief seasons of sadness and frustration before. Like when her parents got divorced and then she didn't know when things would get better.. Now she knew exactly when it would end so yes she was happy most of the time he didn't need to know that she wasn't happy now.

"But are you happy here?" John asked realizing he wanted to know how she felt about being with him at Farringham School.

"Why do you want to know?" Martha said returning to her scrubbing.

"Because I wonder why you stay if you're not happy." John said honestly

John had been trying to get information out of Martha for over a week, but all he was left with were more questions. When he hinted at memories of their childhood it was like she didn't know what he was talking about, but then again her replies where so guarded and monosyllabic that he could never be sure.

It didn't help that his dreams had continued, but now with Martha by his side. He'd taken to telling Martha of the dreams without writing them down. She never seemed very surprised about the things he remembered form his night time adventures. Oh she'd say the right words, "Oh well who could imagine," and things like that but it always seemed kinda fake to him, now that he was paying closer attention.

Martha had gotten so good at keeping her vow to herself that now as she knelt scrubbing the Doctors, no John's floor on this Thursday afternoon she didn't even have to fight a surge of hope that he cared about her happiness. She had been quiet a few seconds to give herself time to come up with a good lie. Why did she stay besides that all this was a lie, she wanted to return to her normal life, and to do that she needed to stick it out.

John did sort of come form the Doctor Martha thought, and with that she looked up ready to answer.

"John you don't know this but I promised you're father I would look after you."

"So you stay because you're obligated to do so." John said slowly as if he wanted her to say it wasn't true.

"It's also a job and a decent one at that. What would happen to me if I weren't here." Martha said ignoring the sound of his voice she would not hope that he wanted her around more than any other servant. Besides it was true, what would she do stuck in 1913 would she even survive the war. She didn't mean to be cruel but she was convinced she was reading things that weren't there again. That was until he said his next words.

"So, you were just humoring me than. You never really cared about me. You never saw me as a friend." John said this without even looking at Martha.

At this Martha looked up and even from the side she could see the pain in his face. She felt about as big as an ant. Sighing she got up and walked over to the couch. "Do you mind if I sit?"

John forced himself to look up at Martha and shook his head no. At that Martha sat down next to him.

"Doctor I did see you as a friend. I still do it's just been a long difficult time." The last three words left Martha's mouth as if they weighed a ton each. "I do care what happens to you the fact that it takes care of me in the process well that's just convenient." Martha was speaking more to the Doctor instead of John. Her words were more for if the Doctor remembered there time here, which is why she said Doctor instead of Mr. Smith, Professor, or Sir.

"I'm afraid I haven't been a very good friend to you Martha. I'm not even sure I know how to be a good friend to you now."

"Don't worry about that you're fine. I have a feeling you'll figure it out soon enough"

They both smiled at that. "Martha why do you say those things?"

"Say what things?"

"I don't know just sometimes it's like you know more than you let on."

"Everyone has there secrets. Don't think mine or more wonderful than anybody else's." Martha said this in a perfect teasing tone, but it was more a command and plea in one. She didn't want him to start thinking she was hiding something because he couldn't figure it out until at least a week form now.

Just than Joan entered the room.

"John," she started and than paused when she caught sight of the pair on the couch.

"Oh am I interrupting." Joan said to sweetly. Martha being a woman noticed this. John being a man did not.

"No, come in. Martha was just reassuring me that I am not as horrible as I sometimes think I am." John said smiling. He may not of liked the way Joan had been treating Martha lately, but even he had figured out it was out of jealousy. The truth was she had something to be jealous about, but John knew that he and Martha couldn't be more than friends. So, he had decided that if alleviating Joan's fears that he'd be the type of man that would mess around with a servant and forget his wife changed Joan's behavior toward Martha then maybe he could still give them a chance. If he couldn't have the woman he loved then he could at least have a friend that loved him. The problem with this is that John wasn't as good at hiding his intentions as the Doctor. He hadn't had hundred's of years of experience to tell him that in situations like this you had to be subtle if you wanted to find out someone's true nature. Compared to the Doctor John was utterly naive.

"Um, Martha could you give me and Ms. Redfern some privacy."

"Of course. Sir." Martha remembered to add the sir at the last moment for Joan's sake. With that she got up and left the room.

Joan turned to John and said, "the two of you seemed to be having a good time."

"Well, Martha was always good at lifting my spirits, but I have something I would like to discuss with you. Please have a seat."

"Yes, what is it?" Joan said worried as she set.

"It's about the way you've been treating Martha lately. I don't like it. Martha and I grew up together We were once best friends, and I know that there have been somethings that may of caused you to worry, but you needn't. It's just being in a new place has made me realize how much I missed having Martha as a friend." True he wanted more then friendship, but there was no reason to disclose that to Joan.

Joan did not feel guilt for her actions even though Johns words had truly reassured her. She did however feel she'd been making a mistake. The way to secure John was not to alienate or get rid of Martha. Joan now saw that John was protective of Martha. He may of only been a few months older than her, but he probably saw her as a little sister, and every woman knows that to threaten a beloved little sister is one of the quickest ways out of a man's affections. So, with this in mind Joan shifted her expression form one of worry to one of regret.

"Oh, John I am so sorry. You must think I am the worst person in the world. I feel like it. I didn't mean to act that way toward Martha. I'd tell myself that I wouldn't, but then when I saw her I'd see the two of you staring into each other's eyes. I know I shouldn't of let jealousy get the better of me, and now that I know it was unfounded you have no idea how horrible I feel."

John felt a pang of guilt at her last words, but Joan really didn't have anything to worry about regardless so he told himself it didn't matter. He could make her happy if not himself. John was quite relieved to find out that he had not completely miss judged Joan. "You should probably be saying some of this to Martha you know."

"That is exactly what I was planning on doing. I just need you to know how sorry I am as well. The reason I let my emotions get the better of me is because I care for you probably more than I should given how short a time I've known you."

"I do know. I'm just sorry I didn't set the record straight before. I could of saved both of you some pain, and I care for you too." John said the last part wondering what he would do when it came time for 'I care for you' to become 'I love you'. He did care for Joan. As he cared for many other friends he had over the years, but he knew that as long as Martha was alive he could never love anyone else. Wait he could love he just couldn't be in love he told himself, and that would have to do.

"Poor Martha I've been punishing her for doing nothing more than grieving over not having her big brother." Yes Joan could easily see what the look was about now and why it had thrown Martha so. She probably had resigned herself to the fact that John had grown past her and then to be suddenly confronted with the idea that maybe he still cared she wouldn't of known what to think. She probably was trying not to hope least she feel abandoned again. Joan was sure she understood now. With that Joan got up to go find Martha.

"Um, Joan there is something else." This time John seemed nervous to say what he was saying.

"Yes, John go ahead." Joan said smiling sure of what he was about to ask knowing it meant that he had believed her remorse.

"You, know that there is a dance in town this Saturday. I... I was wondering if... I don't mean to say that you wouldn't already have an escort at this late date...but if you didn't would you mind going with me."

"Yes John I would love to." Joan said smiling. "Well, I better go see if I can find Martha. Goodbye John."

"Goodbye Joan."

When Joan left John sat back down and wondered why he had been so nervous. He had just had her feelings confirmed and didn't fear rejections because in truth he didn't care. Then he realized by asking her out he'd been solidifying his choice. He was saying without something drastic to stop it he would marry Joan and forget being happy with Martha. It was probably for the best. Joan was probably right; Martha didn't see him as anymore than a brother. He would go through the proper motions, but he now knew he'd likely marry Joan. It was funny how simple courtship became when you're heart wasn't in it.

Joan found Martha in the servant's quarters, in her room. She knocked on the frame of the door as the door was open.

Martha turned around and was quite surprised to see Joan standing there. Joan had never been in the servants quarters before.

"Ms. Redfern what are you doing here?" Martha asked genuinely curious.

"May I come in?" Joan asked not responding to Martha's inquiry.

"Yes of course." Martha got up form the chair and sat on the bed so that Joan could have the only seat in the room.

Joan came in and took the seat without even thinking about the fact that she was obviously disturbing Martha as she was in the middle of writing something in a journal now held in Martha's hand.

"I owe you and apology Martha," Joan began.

"Okay" Martha said nodding for Joan to continue.

"I have been awful to you the past week and a half. I have let jealousy get the better of me, and I feel horrid about that. John explained to me that you and he were like brother and sister growing up and that coming to a new place has renewed that attachment. I know I should have been more in control of my emotions, but all the same I hope you can forgive me." Joan sounded like a would be step mom apologizing to the child just to make sure they didn't jeopardize her chances with the farther. She was to sweet and to unemotional to ever mean the words coming out of her mouth.

Martha was insulted that Joan didn't think she needed anymore acting skills then that to fool her, but she could be gracious. It wasn't as if John would be proposing to Joan in the next Week and a half anyways.

"Of course I forgive you. I'm a woman to you know I could understand how jealousy could get the better of you."

"I knew you would understand," Joan said smiling. "Well, I most be going"

"Of course." Martha said smiling as if she was so content to know that Joan was not mad at her anymore. With that Martha watched Joan leave.

It had been easy for Martha to smile at Joan. True she knew how fake Joan's apology had been but she also knew that Joan would find that all her efforts had been for nothing soon enough, and that was all the payback someone with Martha's big heart needed. Martha went back to writing in her journal. It wasn't really a diary it was a record of sorts in case the Doctor didn't remember his time as John and he wanted to know what had happened. This way she wouldn't forget anything important.

Martha couldn't stop herself from thinking about what Joan had said about how John described them. She wasn't surprised, she supposed that was how the real Doctor was coming to see her anyways. She was decided she would see if she could truly just be his friend when this was over. The Doctor did need someone to travel with him, but if she couldn't be happy like that then she would leave. She was done with sacrificing her own happiness for a false hope and because he needed someone. He would have to find someone else. This could not be her problem anymore.

**A N: ****So I said I'd try and I did manage to get up another chapter today. Thank you guys for reading. Tell me what you think. How can I improve?**


	10. The Dark Before Dawn

**Okay I still own nothging. Moving on. People people people thank you so much for the reviews. I hardly know where to start.**

**Elizabeth the Canuck: You are forgetting how John looked at Roses drawing in the episode. Part of the Doctor was obviously there just not enough.**

**To everyone who is getting mad at The Doctor John is not The Doctor. Sure subconsiously John remembers hence the dreams, but just like in the tv series he can't even remember the dreams fully. The doctor is like a tingle in the back of Johns mind. Like when you get that sensation somethings off but you can't do anything about it because you can't remember what it is. I'm going with John being programmed to be one of the people who ignore that senstation so it still effects the things he can not control like emotions, but not his actions. All Johns actions are the result of all Johns memories and social norms.**

**Cal: Whoever you are you always make me laugh with how you write down your reactions I love it, though if you could use less profanity I would appreciate it. (trying to keep everything kid friendly) Try not to worry to much about John's stupidity. As Martha said it would be inappopriate for John to propose so soon.**

**Oh and to clear up one last thing John and Joan are as good as dating at this point. I know eveyone thinks of modern dating being formed in the 1900s, which is true, but in 1913 you're still dealling with the courtship of the 1800s more so then not. The moderen dating structure did not turely begin to develop until during or right after WWI. So eating meals together with just a servant present, calling each other by their first names, spending time alone these all mean a lot.**

Just a few days until Saturday. Until I give him the stupid watch with the new chain and we get out of here. Just a few more days. I can handle just a few more days. Martha has been telling herself this, all morning. It had started when she woke up with her arm asleep. That wasn't so bad. True there was no hot shower to help wake up the limb but she was able to message it into usefulness. The problem was that was aparently only the beginning of a bad day. She had her first spill in the kitchen that morning. while it was nothing major the milk did spill onto her dress. Though she tried to wipe it out the milk still left a bit of a stain. She may not like the maid uniform or the fasion of 1913 in general but the stain just made it worse. Then she'd gone to deliver John's breakfast to find him in a bad mood. As if all that was not enough while scrubing the floors during morning classes one of the boys had "accidently" knocked into the bucket spilling the water everywhere. Today was one of the few days in Martha Jones life that she wasn't sure how much more she could take, and she still had to serve lunch to Joan and John in a few minutes.

John at that moment was regretting that he had been short with Martha. It wasn't that he had snaped at her or anything like that he had just been cold almost disregarding her that morning. He thought that he could just ignore the dreams, but ignoring them just seemed to make that feeling of something missing worse. So he had gone back to journaling what he could remember form his nocturnal adventures. It was the omittions when he recounted his dreams to Martha and Joan that had him on edge. He thought that it wouldn't be that big a deal surly in a few days Martha would no longer be showing up in his dreams. That had not been the case, and John was not so sure he was comfortable keeping this secrete long term. What if she never left his dreams?

What is more disturbing still is the way he rememberes the dreams is changing. He finds that now he remembers more of the reactions the man he is in the dreams feels. It seems as though in the dreams he is falling for Martha, but he is unwilling to admit it to anyone even himself. John was sure he recognized this only because he had already admitted his feelings for Martha, to himself at least. He started to wonder if the man he was in his dreams was even already in love with Martha. Not being able to remember was becoming a problem.

A knock at the door brought John out of his thoughts.

"Come in." John calls out. Upon seeing Joan enter the room he stands from his couch.

"Hello John, how has your morning been?"

"Fine, and how has your day begun?"

"It's a beautiful day, I have a charming companion for lunch what could I possibly have to complain about." Joan said with a beautiful smile. There was no mistaking Joan's smile was beautiful, but John could never bring himself to be moved by it. It envoked no feeling or conection within him no matter how hard he tried.

Martha came just a minute after Joan. When she knocked John called for her to come in expecting that it would be Martha and it was.

Martha knows she would make it though this lunch because she had to, but she might just make up her mind to slap Joan when this is all over if she adds to how horrible this day has been.

Joan decided to be nice thanks mostly to John's presence. I can not have John thinking ill of me. Joan thinks as Martha enters the room.

As Martha serves lunch she notes the difference in Joan's acting skills. They are always better when John is around. Well, at lest she doesn't think John a fool, Martha thinks.

Today Martha asks about the journal. Ture John had told her about his dream this morning, but more out of habit then anything else. It seemed to Martha as if he was leaving quite a bit out. It was true. John had given Martha no more than a brief synopsis that morning. He simply hadn't been in the mood to talk. Now though Martha feels she needs to remember why she travels with The Doctor. She wants to spend a few minutes remembering the adventure and the wonder. She wants to spend a few minutes forgetting where she is and how they treat her.

John retrieves the journal at Martha's inquiry about his dream and resettles on the couch.

"Martha come and sit by me." John says this not as a command, but more as an offer. It is his way of trying to make up for this morning.

Joan does not like this, but she keeps her opinion to herself. Martha doesn't hesitate as she sits. After the day she's had she doesn't care what problems it may or may not cause with Joan.

Martha has come to relize two things about John's dreams. First he doesn't dream of every adventure or thing he's done. Second what he does dream he dreams in order. Having figured this out Martha is extra thankful that last night John dreamed of the first place The Doctor and Martha went that nothing went wrong. She is so glad that today she get's to escape into a memory where there was no running and no death. It's not that she doesn't appreciate the adventure, but today she needs calm wonder.

As John starts to describe last night's dream and show his drawings in the journal Martha allows her mind to wander. She let's it slip back to the planet he is describing. He had taken her there about a month after he'd decided she could stay on the TARDIS as long as she wanted. Martha was sure that there would be some great adventure as usual, but she was getting tired. Martha was hoping that if just once they could relax and things could go as planned, and for the first time they did. She often suspected that the TARDIS may have had a hand in that. She sometimes thought the TARDIS may have more of a hand in things than she realizes, but she didn't care about that know. Martha was lost in remembering the singing forest. It was on a planet where trees where hollow, and because of this when the wind blew past a tree it would sound like a great flute. Most of the clusters of trees on the planet would sound like a wood wind orchestra warming up, but there was one small forest that when the wind blew directly from the east it played the most beautiful arrangement Martha had ever heard.

"Martha, Martha." John was calling Martha's name, and when she came back to the present she wasn't sure how long he had been doing so.

"Sorry," Martha looked down half in embarassment half to check if John remembered that one small forest. When she caught a glimps of the drawing of a cluster of trees and the words 'so amzing a sound' she knew that he had.

"I was just caught up in trying to imagine what the forest must sound like." Martha quickly explained.

"It's okay Martha I was just a little worried when you didn't answer to your name at first." John tells her with a smile.

Looking at the clock Martha realizes that it is time for her to clear away the lunch things. "Oh well, I guess I should be getting these down to the kitchen.."

"Yes I suppose you should." John replys, and stands as Martha leaves unaware of Joan's momentary grimace.

John turns to Joan. "I must go to my classroom before the boys start returning from the dinning hall."

"Yes of course, just one thing before you go."

"Yes Joan what is it."

"I know how you feel about Martha, but sometimes I think you indulge her to much. It's just that she needs dicipline and structure you know how they are. I'm mostly saying this for Martha's sake I wouldn't want to see her in trouble. Anyways it's just something to think about."

John was stunded he didn't know what to think or say. So instead John simply followed Joan out of his suite and went to his classroom.

**AN: I sorry this is a little late. I would have had it up yesterday but thunderstorms kept coming though so I didn't have enough time on the computer.**


	11. Understanding

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Doctor Who characters, or merchandising rights. This story is for entertainment only and not for prophet. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Now that the technical jargon is out the way on with the story.**

As John sat behind his desk with the boys taking a test he couldn't help wishing that he was the man from his dreams. He felt that he would have known what to say to Joan. As himself he was lost. How could he fault Joan for expressing a view point most of society agreed with. More importantly how could he fault her for a view that his own actions seemed to endorse until about a week ago. To fault Joan now seemed hypocritical to John, but the idea she expressed, as if Martha had no more capability than a child because of the color of her skin, infuriated him. John was considering that he would have to find some way to break things off with Joan. This was not something he wanted to have to decide just two days before his birthday celebration. Again he wished that he was the man from his dreams. This wish was becoming a frequent thought over the past week. Though usually the wish had more to do with the fact that as the man in the dream John was sure that he would be able to have Martha. He was sure that society's rules would mean little to him. He was sure that Martha would be swept off her feet by a man that could take her on so many adventures. She would see him as more than a brother. In fact he wondered if the man in the dreams had dream Martha's affections. It may of only happened once, that he could remember anyways, but they did kiss though his running off after-wards did seem strange. He so wished he could remember more about what happened around that kiss. That he had initiated it was quite obvious, but he didn't remember why.

At this time Joan was in her office. Today had been a slow day and she was preparing the evening medications for the boys. Which really meant the one dose of penicillin for the one boy that had been sick last week. This simple task took up neither enough time or enough attention to stop Joan's mind form wondering. Joan was a woman of science. She didn't put much stock in intuition but she couldn't shake the feeling that Martha would be the cause of her loosing John. Perhaps I haven't been the kindest Joan thought, but society is set up with divisions for a reason is it not. I do love John's big heart, but I'm afraid that he takes his affection for Martha too far. What will people think if he acts that way towards her in public? I would be humiliated. Yes, I did the right thing by talking to him today.

Since lunch Martha's day had been looking up. As she sits in the Kitchen with Jenny another maid at the school a thousand thoughts of far off planets, past adventures and a home not so far away, but unreachable without The Doctor.

"Jenny do you ever think about leaving here and seeing far off places?" Martha's question was absent minded as they polished the silverware.

"Well now, you say that as if that's exactly what you intend on doing Martha. I'd think you'd never think of leaving. Not without John at any rate." Jenny replied with a pointed look at Martha. This brought Martha out of her haze with shock.

"I don't know what you're getting at." Martha said this in a monotone defense.

"Now don't try and fool me. Most people don't think I notice much because I'm so happy all the time, but I have brains and I recognize desire when I see it. Maybe it's because I got so many of my own, but I've seen the way you've looked when I've mentioned him."

"Oh no, really this isn't good I haven't meant I mean I didn't know I wasn't trying."

Jenny cut her off gently. "Don't worry it took you a month before you let down your guard enough around me for me to start wondering. I don't think you've let on to any body else. I think you just had a bit to much to keep in. I like to think once you knew I was trustworthy you decided to relax a bit around me."

"Jenny you know of all the people I've ever met I do believe that you are one of the best. I wish I could take you with me when I do go, you'd love it." Martha spoke more freely now that she felt at ease with Jenny, though she was still mindful not to say to much. It was funny a second ago Martha would of told her and thought nothing of it, but now that she realized how much Jenny really understood things she felt it best not to say to much.

"So you do plan on leaving us. Where you gonna go?"

"Can't tell you yet but it's going to be soon. Saturday actually, at least I hope so. Tell you what I"ll tell you where I'm going before I leave though I don't know if you'll believe me."

"I want press you. Oh, and I do." Jenny replied with a smile.

"What?"

"I do dream of leaving here sometimes, but I don't think I dream of going as far as you. There's this man I think fancies me. I like him quite a bit. I just hope that one day he'll get the nerve up to ask me to marry him." Now it was Jenny's turm to have that far away look in her eyes.

"Ah I see. Well then, here's hoping we both get just as far away from here as each of us desires in the way we so choose."

"I can second that feeling."

Both woman laughed at there own boldness, and they both felt that in that moment they had experienced a true connection. The type that you only ever get with a few people. It seemed a shame that they would part so soon likely never to see each other again, and they both knew they were unlikely to see each other after Martha left though was the only one that understood why.

**AN: First off I know it's short and I know it's been almost two weeks forgive me pleeeeeeeeease forgive me. Secondly I know I made Jenny more wise and sagely, but I like to think Jenny understood more then we knew. I mean she was the one Martha did tell she was going away, and the only one Martha confided in. So since I loved her so much, but needed another character to move my story forward I took that sort of 'kind and she tends to except the occasional odd comment' persona and cranked it up to 'motherly and she sees almost everything you thought you were hiding so well.' I claim creative license. So tell me if you like or dislike what I did with Jenny's character and anything else you think I should know by reviewing.**


	12. Let Downs

**Okay thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I am glad that you guys like what I did to Jenny. You guys all saw it coming so here is your moment(s) between Martha and John.**

**So without further ado, wait wait wait hold up I just got a memo from legal. In case you haven't heard yet. I don't own Doctor Who or any of the characters. That said on with the story.**

"Afraid there is nothing interesting this morning sir" Martha says handing John the paper. In an attempt to break the contemplative silence he's been in since she walked in.

"Martha what do you think of Joan?" John asks slowly.

"How do you mean sir?"

"I mean would you stay if I were ever to marry her." John asks looking down.

"Sir look at me and tell my why you're asking me that. Have you asked Joan to marry you?" Martha asks trying desperately not to lose the composure she's held on to for so long. With the pressure of tears threatening to show themselves she closes her eyes. As she goes to take a deep breath to push the tears down, she is startled form the task by the words she hears, and opens her eyes suddenly.

"No no no! I mean I haven't it's just that I was. Never mind I shouldn't be bothering you with my problems."

It is the power behind his denial. It is the way he never finished that sentence. It is the look she'd seen on his face. It is all of this together that breaks through Martha's carefully built walls, and cause her heart to rise within her. She realizes that it is now too late to avoid the horrible crash that always follows this hope so she decides to see this through.

Seating down on the sofa Martha looks up at John.

"Martha what are you doing?" John asks puzzled.

"Waiting for you explain, Sir." Martha says softly, but with firm resolve.

"Martha just let it go." John almost demands.

"No you started this you can't just expect that I'll set back and forget. Not with how strongly this is obviously affecting you."

"Martha please." John almost begs. "I can't. It's not something I." John drops his head and stops short.

"Try to explain it to me any way." Martha says as she makes room on the sofa for John.

He sits and begins talking without looking at her. "Joan is a very lovely woman." John is picking his words very carefully at this point. "I have enjoyed her company over the past few months."

When he pauses Martha prompts him to continue.

"It's just I'm not sure she is the type of woman I could fall in love with." At this point John looks up into Martha's eyes. Rather it's something he sees in them or the fact that he has been holding it in for too long he can't tell, but he can not stop himself from continuing. "She isn't you."

Martha's breath stills and then her heart takes flight. He is in love with me she thinks almost stunned at the thought that this could be true. "Are you saying you're in love with me?" She ask because she has to hear it from him.

"Yes, I guess I am." John says disbelieving he has actually admitted this out loud, and to Martha of all people.

With his words Martha's heart reaches new heights for all of about two seconds and then it crashes down more harshly then it ever has before. Martha realizes with a sickening drop of her stomach that this is not The Doctor. This is John Smith. A school teacher in 1913 who doesn't even know what The Doctor is really like. Sure he has the dreams ,but he doesn't even remember most of them. More importantly she's sure there is very little of The Doctor in Professor John Smith.

John sees the way Martha's face drops after he confesses his love and feels he has made a grave mistake. "I shouldn't of said that. I apologize, and I will never mention it again." John says half chocked with tears in his eyes.

Martha seeing this can not help but reaching out a hand to comfort him. "Oh no, it isn't that. This is just a lot to take in. Please don't feel you've upset me. I mean you know as well as I do that this is not a simple situation. I need time to think. Um, can we talk about this on Sunday?" Martha has chosen her words carefully. She wants to comfort John, but she knows that by Sunday The Doctor will be back. This way she can go back to pretending in case The Doctor does remember his time as John.

"Yes of course. We will talk on Sunday." John says this feeling better but know he is impatient for Sunday to come though it is just two days away. Even his birthday tomorrow pales in comparison to the new significance Sunday has just taken on.

Martha finds that any treatment she receives from the boys is more tolerable today. Knowing there is only one more day to endure helps tremendously.

She hears comments about her mystery still. Sure the talk has died down since she hasn't done anything since the lunch incident a couple of weeks ago, but they still look and the occasional comment still arises. As Martha listens to one such comment she decides that if the opportunity presents itself she'll give them another show. The thought brings a smile to her face. Jenny notices this.

"What is so amusing?"

"Oh, I've just made up my mind about something."

Having overheard the same comment Jenny makes the connection immediately. "Something tells me that Farringham's little mystery is gonna have a chapter added to it before you go off where ever you're going."

As the hall has cleared Martha allows herself to speak a little more freely. "Perhaps Jenny perhaps, if the opportunity presents itself."

At this both woman laugh. The headmaster walks by and admonishes them. "We pay you to work ladies not to socialize."

"Yes sir," both women say in unison.

The head master turns the corner and the smiles return to the women's faces though they control the laughter.

"He'd have a heart attack if he knew what you were planning. He couldn't stand the initial up roar over you the first time." Jenny whispers to Martha.

"Well then, I hope he survives tomorrow." Martha mumbles this mostly to herself because even though she plans on being discrete, perhaps slipping away into the night leaving a note behind, she has learned that life is unpredictable.

Jenny hears what Martha says, but decides to let it go. She'll tell me herself soon enough, Jenny thinks.

Martha sits the lunch things down and goes to begin cleaning as she normally does during lunch.

"Martha would you mind leaving us today? You can come back at the end of lunch to retrieve the things." John half asks and half tells Martha this.

"Yes of course." Martha says and heads for the door. Martha purposefully leaves off the sir just to bother Joan.

Joan notes the lack of sir, but doesn't bother to say anything as John as just made a point of being alone with her. Joan's happiness deflates a little when she turns to see a serious expression on John's face.

"Joan please sit down. Would you like some tea?"

"What is it John? What's wrong?" Joan asks hesitantly.

"It's nothing that can not wait until after we've eaten." John suddenly finds that this is not as easy as he thought this would be and decides to stall. It isn't that he is afraid he's about to do the wrong thing, but as any normal man in 1913 he isn't good with an upset woman, especially if she cries. He finds the prospect that he may make her cry and be alone to deal with it terrifying. By stalling maybe Martha want be too long if she does start crying. Women or good with other women, right?

Part of Joan wants to yell at him just to spit it out, but she is a woman of sense and knows that if he plans on breaking things off she could use the extra time to think of a way to convince him not to. She thinks she still has a chance because she mistakenly interprets his reluctance as a sign that he has doubts about what he is planning on doing. So, the two of them eat in relative silence with only a couple of short lived attempts at breaking the tension with small talk.

They finish eating and John glancing at the clock notices he only has about fifteen minutes until Martha will be back for the lunch things. He knows he can stall no longer. "Joan what you said about Martha needing discipline and structure yesterday..."

"Is that what you want to talk about?" Joan says cutting John off. "Why John you had me worried I thought something was seriously wrong." Joan says this with a smile.

"I didn't like what you were saying Joan." John speaks firmly.

"I was just thinking of what's best for everyone. I mean even today she she has stopped calling you sir. She should have more respect, you are her employer and her better." Joan didn't realize that by adding her last statement she had made a grave mistake, even if there had been any hope left she would have thrown it away with her last two words.

"First of all you'll notice that I did not correct her when she didn't call me sir. Rather or not I require my employee to call me sir is up to me and no business of yours. As far as you know I told her to stop calling me sir this morning at breakfast. Secondly you will note that Martha has not stopped using the proper terms of respect with anyone else. She is not a child. She is a woman who is perfectly capable of distinguishing between one situation and another. Thirdly I may be Martha's employer as you pointed out, but I am most certainly not her better. I would be blessed to be half the human being that Martha is. She has a capacity to forgive that is beyond me, as proved by her forgiveness of my behavior over the past ten years. Seeing as how you don't see that, quite frankly I don't think we should continue on with the way things have been." John lets his emotions get the better of him, and his words have an almost frightening power behind them, something like an oncoming storm. Though the air about him quickly dissipates as soon as he finishes talking and gets a hold of his emotions again.

Joan is stunned for a second, but she recovers quickly. "I see. I guess that I should just be leaving then, but before I go allow me to warn you. The world will not receive your love for Martha kindly." Joan spits out the words like acid.

John finds that he thinks quickly when he's done something that may cause undo problems for Martha. "Don't flatter yourself that there needs to be someone else for me not to choose you. Your attitude towards Martha has just revealed something about your character that I do not particularly like." He says this in an attempt to save Martha from Joan's wrath.

With John's words Joan leaves the room and John alone.

Ten minutes have passed since Joan left John's room and someone is knocking at the door.

"Come in," John calls out from the sofa.

Martha enters and is surprised when she doesn't see Joan anywhere. "Has Ms. Redfern left already?" Martha asks confused.

"Oh, yes Ms. Redfern has left alright." John says this, takes a deep breath, and leans his head back.

"What happened?" Martha asks as she makes her way to the sofa.

John waits until Martha is seated beside him to respond. "Well, I ended things with her. I also confronted her about her attitude towards you. She didn't like either. I didn't say it, but she accused me of being in love with you. I tried to tell her other wise without lying directly. I know it's still a lie but it doesn't concern her, and you don't need whatever trouble it might bring you."

"Oh well, that is something." Martha is slightly stunned. "Thank you for trying to protect me sir."

"John," he says cutting her off. "Call me John at least when we're alone. Please."

Suddenly Martha has a new reason to be glad that tomorrow is the day that she gets him to open the watch. She isn't sure that she could handle more than one day of this. If it weren't for the coming war she isn't sure that she would trust herself to make him open the watch at all. Technically I could give it to him tonight and have it over with, she thinks. No, she admonishes herself, they've already put in the work towards celebrating his birthday one more day want be the end of me.

Martha swallows and continues. "John thank you, but I have a feeling that what ever you said want deter her much. Don't worry I can handle Ms. Redfern."

"I know you can." John speaks softly. "I just don't want you to have to because of me." John reaches out a hand to cradle Martha's cheek as the words leave his mouth.

Martha can not stop herself from closing her eyes and leaning into his touch for moment. She forces herself to pull away and opens her eyes finding that John's face is decidedly closer then it was before. Mustering all the resolve she has Martha draws back. "I better be taking the lunch things down to the kitchen now." She turns and begins gathering the things as she speaks.

John watches her for a while. When Martha stands and picks up the tray. He asks, "we will talk on Sunday?"

"Yes of course we will." Martha feels no guilt at this statement. Even if it wasn't true she is sure that it is the right thing to say, but she is equally sure that they will talk on Sunday, or what would be Sunday if there were going to still be here. She is also knows that the conversation they have will be nothing like the one John is expecting to have.

John stands and walks out with Martha. He holds the door as she exits. He heads off to his class but not before watching Martha a moment as she heads down towards the kitchen.

Martha walks into her room to find a stern looking Joan setting at her desk. Martha can not say she is truly surprised by this.

"What can I do for you mam." Martha ask politely, but her eyes return Joan's stern gaze.

"I came up here to talk to you Martha. You probably already know what happened at lunch today. I was wondering if you had been saying anything to John." Joan delivers this thinly veiled accusations without so much as her eyes wavering."

"I have said nothing to John, I mean Mr. Smith, about you even when he asked mam." Martha still keeps the same respectful tone but now her eye are smiling she knows the blow she just struck.

"I said that's why I came up here but then when I was waiting I found something quite troubling Martha." Joan says smiling.

This Martha had not expected she had not expected for Joan to go through her things.

Standing up Joan reveals the watch sitting on the table behind her. "Am I mistaken or is that John's watch." Joan says smugly thinking she has found more then she could ever dream. Surely the proof of Martha's theft will justify her concern in John's eyes.

Martha relaxes. She had been afraid Joan had read through the journal she had been keeping in case The Doctor hadn't remembered. She had stopped just keeping a detailed journal and began writing notes to The Doctor as well. The most recent of which contained a threat of what would happen if he ever put her in a situation where she was treated this way ever again. She hadn't really meant it and planned on tearing out the page and burning it. She knows he didn't have a choice. She also knows, The TARDIS made the decision of where they would end up, probably dumping them in the place were they would have the least amount of trouble all around.

Martha smiles when she realizes that Joan is so sure she's just found a way to get rid of her. "Why yes mam it is. That's his birthday present." Martha says still maintaining the polite tone and pointing.

Now Jenny and some of the other servants have heard the exchange and are in the hall listening in.

"I'm not stupid Martha I know that this is the watch that John already owns. I am afraid that I will have to go to the headmaster with this." Joan picks up the watch, but Martha doesn't move out of the doorway.

"No mam not the watch, the chain. You see he hasn't had a chain for the watch in a long time. I took the watch to make sure the chain I got matched his watch perfectly." Martha says beaming knowing that Joan will be embarrassed since other people or listening in.

Joan sputters a few seconds before she can get anything out. "Oh, I just saw the watch and I thought. I am sorry, but glad I was wrong." Joan says with sweet insincerity.

Martha considers a moment that she could bring up how the watch had been in her draw but decides that is a step too far. Martha moves from the door frame instead and says, "That's alright I don't know what I would of thought under similar circumstances. I've never been in your position."

To everyone else, but Jenny it sounded as if the women were ending on good terms. They thought Martha was being gracious enough to admit that the situation had looked bad, and if she had a responsibility to report a possible theft she would have done the same thing.

Martha, Joan, and Jenny all knew better. They knew the situation that Martha was referring to was being so desperate to reclaim a man that you went looking to sabotage your rival only to fail miserably.

**AN: So I hope you review. Thanks again to all the reviewers especially the ones on chapter 10 that hopefully helped me make this a better written chapter then all the rest. Though I warn I don't have a beta and I only proof read this chapter three times. So, if there are still errors tell me.**


	13. The Goodbyes We Don't Say

**Thanks for all the reviews. I like to think that Martha is and always will be as self possessed as they come in any and all situations. Anyways let me see I don't own any Doctor Who Characters or plot lines. Though I finally got a couple of OCs even if they are just cameos. Hope you enjoy. **

Martha can not keep her mind from wandering as she dusts and polishes the nick-knacks around John's office. I thought I might get one more chance to show off but I didn't expect to get two. Martha remembers the incidents with a smile upon her face.

_The house staff always eats breakfast in the Dinning Hall after the students have eaten._ _Two of the professors enter the dinning hall because one has left a book behind. They are in the midst of a discussion about the history of British American relations. _

"_Samuel if I know one thing it is my history. I didn't become The History Professor on my good looks you know, and I'm telling you the American War of Independence ended in 1782." _

"_Well, the fact that you didn't get this post based on looks is obvious to any passerby Peter, but the fact still remains that the American War of Independence ended in 1783." _

"_Um, excuse me. Martha sees her opportunity and is not about to pass it up." _ _Both the men stop and look at her. Samuel is curious as to what she has to say, while Peter is shocked she would dare interrupt their conversation. _ "_I couldn't help over hearing and both of you are correct. It just depends on what criteria you judge by." Martha has spoken with an expression of complete and utter innocence upon her face._

_Peter is about to object to her input, but Samuel is quicker._ "_Tell us Martha. How is that so?"_

"_Well, Let me see if I can remember correctly. On August 27th, 1782 was the last battle between us and the Americans. On November 10th of the same year was the last battle of the war, but that was between the rebels and the loyalists. On November 30th, 1782 a preliminary peace treaty was signed in Paris, but we did not officially declare an end to hostilities in America until February 4th, 1783. Though we had already evacuated Charleston, South Carolina in December."_

"_Well now tell me Peter, is she right?" Samuel asks with a bit of amusement in his voice. _

_After retrieving the book and flipping through Peter responds._"_Yes she is." Peter's response carries an edge with it. "That is why I say the war ended in 1782. All the important things had already been taken care of by the time 1783 started." Peter's words are less harsh now that he is focused on claiming his victory from Samuel._

Martha's mind continues wandering through her morning. She has had an excellent one. No one has gone out of their way to make her miserable. Today is the day she gets The Doctor back. Breakfast has given her a chance to show off a bit. The talk about her has picked up again, and the discussions surrounding her became more prevalent than they were when they first began after the second incident the day has provided her.

_When one of the younger boys twists his wrist Martha is near by. She sends one boy after Nurse Redfern, but while they wait Martha exams him. Martha finds that it is no more then a minor sprang. So in an attempt to distract the young boy she begins telling him all about how the wrist and hand function and all the parts that make them up. _ _No one ever said that you couldn't be kind and accomplish your own goals at the same time. Martha thinks as she relinquishes the boy to Joan's care. _

_Martha has accomplished both goals completely. _

_The boy is utterly fascinated. _ "_Miss Redfern Martha says that there are 27 bones in my hand. Is that true?" The boy asks excitedly as he follows the nurse down the hall to have his wrist bandaged. _ _As for Martha's personal goal, since they were coming in from outside and in the main entry way, she has a sizable audience by the time Nurse Redfern has been retrieved. _

John's voice brings Martha out of her memories and back to the present. "Martha you've done enough cleaning it's lunchtime come and eat with me."

"Sir..."

"Martha," John cuts her off with an edge of reminding in his voice.

"John, I usually eat with the rest of the house staff in the kitchen after lunch."

"Well, if you noticed they sent you up here with enough food for two. It's not because they don't know that things have been broken off between Ms. Redfern and myself. I told the cook to make sure there was still enough for two, and before you object I feel obligated to remind you that it is my birthday so you are honor bound to give into me." John says this with a self assured smile upon his face.

"Well, how can I possibly argue with that logic." Martha concedes, but not without reservation. She had been hoping to avoid a situation like this. John is not The Doctor even if he looks, sounds, and occasionally acts like him, Martha reminds herself as she sits down next to John.

"Martha do you remember when we were young children, and I wanted you to be the princess?"

"I can not say that I do remember that precise incident."

"Really I thought you would. We never played that game after that because you were so adamant."

"That's the way things go don't they. I mean one person's passion leaves a lasting effect on another and the person with the passion doesn't even remember what had them so wound up in the first place." Martha says with a smile though she isn't even satisfying herself with her explanation.

"Yes I suppose you're right." John concedes though he is not fully satisfied with this he decides to let it go. In this moment he is more concerned about the here and now than Martha's apparent lack of recollection of the past.

"Then let me remind you. You were upset because I wanted you to play a princess so I could be the heroic prince. You told me that you didn't want to be the princess because they never rescue themselves and you were quite capable of rescuing yourself. You much preferred to go off and fight the dragons with the prince then be rescued and dumped in the lap of luxury."

"Did I really say all that to you. No wonder you're surprised I forgot." Martha almost laughs the words.

"Though those weren't your exact words at the time, but I think I kept true to the spirit."

"I did feel that way as a girl." Martha in fact had felt that way when young, and with this information Martha starts to wonder if the TARDIS kept true to her personality in the made up memories to make it easier on her.

"I know you made that quite clear, but you said did feel that way. Don't tell me that you've changed your mind on me. Not after the hard time you gave me about it."

"Don't worry I still think I was perfectly correct and I still would never choose to be a pampered princess over an adventurer. " Martha finds herself slipping into the moment and laughing with John.

The laughter dies down quickly, but yet again Martha finds that John has managed to be decidedly closer to her then when she had last registered his proximity. Martha starts to pull away again, but stops herself as she sees the look on Johns face. I suppose one kiss wouldn't hurt, and then at least I'll know what it's like. Though that might not be a good thing. Martha thinks to herself as she allows John to close the short distance between them. Johns kiss is gentle. He is hesitant as if he is constantly asking permission to continue. He keeps his hands to himself even as he maneuvers so that Martha is leaning against the the back of the sofa.

As he breaks the kiss he stares into Martha's eyes. "I thought you were going to run away again."

"Well, I decided that standing up for me warranted a kiss. I still haven't made up my mind about us though."

They continue to eat and talk. Martha gets John to admit that she had been in his dreams since the hospital on the moon. John is again struck by Martha's lack of surprise. "You are never surprised by my dreams Martha. It's almost as if you know exactly what to expect."

"I told you not to let your imagination get carried away about me. Besides you have a birthday today and a celebration tonight at dinner, and I say that should be the focus of all your thoughts."

"Is that an admission that you are hiding something from me?" John says smiling, but still scrutinizing her.

"Mr. Smith that is nothing more than an admission that I think you have an overactive imagination and are in need of this birthday party." Martha replies with a smile.

"Look at the time I need to get these things down to the kitchen." With that Martha gathers the lunch things and heads out the room. As Martha heads to the kitchen she is sure of one thing. She is glad that she kissed John. He did deserved it and it has made all her doubts vanish. Part of her had been hoping that John's emotions had been due to the part of The Doctor that still was a part of him, but now she knows different. Even when it had been a 'genetic transfer' The Doctors Kiss had been more insistent, more forward. John's kiss was none of those things. That kiss had been nice, but no trace of her Doctor had been in it.

As John sits in his room his mind floats back to the kiss. It had been wonderful, but he hopes that one day he'll get to kiss Martha without holding back. He had been afraid to scare her off. He had held back all the emotions he felt were about ready to overwhelm him. He had held them back so he wouldn't risk ruining the moment. 

**AN: So I know I'm horrible how could I leave it here. I had to because I like my chapters to cover only one continuous time frame aside from flash backs. I only make an exception if the chapter would be way to short. That and I love when a story lends itself to being an emotional roller coaster. Okay so maybe it has more to do with toying with emotions than with my OCD tendencies, but what can I say it's an inherited trait. ;) ** **Please review. Pretty please with a cherry on top. ****:)**


	14. Answers

**So I had a terrible case of writer's block for the longest time. Now though I have bent the story to my WILL! AH HA HA HA (cough sputter cough sputter...) Um, Sorry about that the break through went to my head for a moment. Anyways enjoy. = )**

John can't help glancing back at Martha as everyone sings Happy Birthday to him. Martha smiles at him almost carelessly. I don't know when I last saw Martha this happy John thinks. He wants to attribute her high spirits to himself and the lunch they had together, but he can not shake the inkling in the back of his mind that it has nothing to do with the lunch or the kiss. He can not dwell on this now though, since this is his birthday party, and Martha has practically ordered him to have a good time.

Martha stands in the back of the dining hall with the rest of the house staff. They have been invited to the party meaning they have been allowed to come into the dinning hall now that dinner is over and the cake has been brought in. They are expected to stand quietly besides the singing, and will be permitted to get cake once everyone else has been served. This isn't even touching Martha's good mood. All she can think about is that she has pulled it off. If all goes well she'll be out of here by morning. Martha moves to the front now that the singing has ended. Jenny and herself volunteered to serve the cake today. The cook is cutting the cake to make the process go faster.

Jenny makes sure to hang back just enough so that Martha is in front to pick up the first piece of cake so she will be the one to give John his piece. Jenny suspects something happened between John and Martha today at lunch, but Martha refuses to admit to anything. Jenny wants the opportunity to see them interact.

John's eyes light up slightly when he notices that it is Martha who will bring him his piece of cake though otherwise John controls himself very well.

"Your cake sir." Martha says as she places the desert in front of John.

"Thank you Martha." John says smiling.

"On behalf of the staff I would just like to say we all wish you a very happy birthday sir." As Martha speaks Jenny notes that her face has paled slightly since she went to talk to John. Jenny thinks this odd as her body language does not seem to indicate fear.

"Tell the staff that I greatly appreciate their well wishes." John completes the formalized interaction.

Martha curtsies slightly and turns to finish serving the cake. Jenny is left slightly puzzled as the only clues she has received to rather or not something happened during lunch are Martha's change in complexion and the fact that they did not break eye contact during the entire interaction. This was unusual, but Jenny, Timothy, and Joan were the only ones to notice.

As Martha and Jenny finish serving the cake. Jenny positions herself next to Martha. "Still not going to tell me what happened at lunch?" She nonchalantly whispers to Martha between bites of cake.

Jenny notices that Martha has just regained the paleness she hand when talking to John.

"Are you seriously asking me that here?" Martha whispers back.

"Martha Jones are you blushing?"

"Do you see any red on my face?"

"No, but this makes twice that you've gone slightly pale in situations that I expected you should blush instead, and now that I'm closer I've noticed that it starts in your cheeks."

Martha contemplates rather are not she can get away with a lie and decides she doesn't want to lie to the only true friend she's made here on the last night she'll see her.

"Okay you caught me. You know Jenny you are too observant for you're own good."

"Oh I'm not that special."

"Yeah, well most white people don't notice not even in my..." Martha catches herself just before she finishes that sentence.

"Not even in your what?" Jenny inquires with a scrutinizing look upon her face.

"Nothing, at least nothing to worry about."

"If you say so."

"Hey, come with me to my room when I go to get the watch and chain to give John and I'll explain." Martha adds not wanting to hurt Jenny.

This gesture is understood by Jenny and elicits a smile form her.

Joan sits watching the two woman, and the head master interrupts her speculations about what they may be discussing.

"If everyone would quiet down and be attentive then I think that it is just about time for presents." The head master announces.

"Oh, you did not have to go and do that." John states slightly embarrassed.

"Now it isn't much just a token of appreciation from the staff and a couple of the boys wanted to present you with something on this occasion.

As John opens up his presents he find a pin set form the staff, a men's pocket handkerchief from the Timothy, and a silver cuff links form George Bradford. Bradford was the only son of the richest family in the area and liked to show off.

"Thank you all very much all the gifts are wonderful." John is thanking the staff and the boys as Joan suddenly realizes her opportunity to possibly embarrass Martha.

"Oh, John wait just moment I just remembered something. Martha has a present for you as well."

Martha is caught off guard by this and looks between Joan and John slightly startled. "I was just going to give it later. I didn't think it was my place to present it here."

"Don't be ridiculous Martha of course you can give him his present now." Joan speaks smiling. "I mean, you don't have any objections do you Mr. Griffin?" Joan directs her inquiry toward the head master.

"Well, I suppose that would be acceptable." Mr. Griffin answers slightly confused by the sudden interruption and Joan's insistence.

"Alright then I"ll just go and get it." Martha states then turns and leaves the room.

"Well this is a wonderful birthday I get presents I was not expecting and then come to find out I still have another one on the way." John laughs successfully breaking the tension in the room as many of the staff join in his sedate laughter.

What are you up to Joan. John ponders as he waits for Martha to return. At least you can get nothing more from this then Martha's slight embarrassment John thinks.

Martha up in her room retrieves the watch. What am I going to do? If he doesn't open the watch when I give him the present how will I ever get him to open it? I may never get home. I may never see my family again. Martha's thoughts gain panic and speed with each new realization. Martha suddenly remembers her wits, forces her mind to stop and takes a deep breath. I can do this, besides it may be fun to see Joan's face when she realizes John was never who she thought he was. Yes, Joan realizing that all of those dreams John had were really memories and I had been with him for so many of those adventures. Maybe Joan did me a favor after all, Martha thinks wickedly. With that Martha retrieves the pocket watch and decides that she should probably take the journal also.

Martha returns to the dinning hall. With the gift and the journal in hand.

"Jenny will you hold this?" Martha asks entering the door and slipping Jenny the journal. Jenny takes the journal and says nothing though she is confused to why Martha would bring down her journal.

"Oh, Martha you're back, so come on bring me my present." John speaks in a jovial voice.

Martha approaches John at the front of the hall and hands him the box. "Here you are sir I hope you like it."

Opening the box John notices the watch and chain a confused expression crosses his face and Martha is quick to explain.

"I figured it was high time that you had a chain for your father's watch again. Seeing as how the old chain broke years ago."

"Oh, thank you. Thank you very much Martha it was very kind of you to think of it." John says the words, but in his head he can not help wondering why she would lie to him. Maybe she's just mistaken, John thinks because he has no recollection of his father giving him a watch. Examining the watch closer he has a vague recollection of the watch, but it seems to be only from the dream he had this morning. He could remember less of this dream then most but he is sure of four things. Martha was there, they were being chased, there was a watch of great importance, and that watch looked surprisingly like this one. John decides that instead of trying the chain out and opening the watch that he will put it back up for now because he wants to see if Martha reacts. Something in the back of his mind tells him that this watch is the key to all his questions about Martha.

"Sir" Martha says quickly when she notices John about to put the watch away. "I had to guess at the chain length I would feel better if you tried it out just to see if I got the correct length chain."

Though Martha's request seems a little odd no one says anything at this point.

"Alright" John says as he stands and tries out the new chain. "See there it is perfect length. Thank you again Martha." John says removing the watch.

"Aren't you going to open the watch up sir." Martha asks with a slight edge starting to slip into her voice.

"Martha why is it important for me to open up a watch I've had for so many years at this moment?" John asks half hoping that she'll reveal the secret he's sure she's been hiding all this time.

"I didn't say it was important I just asked if you were going to open the watch." Martha states. "Sir" Martha adds realizing her slip.

A few mummers are starting to spread amongst the boys and the staff alike, but Martha and John are completely oblivious to them or at least what they mean. For all Martha can think about is getting John to open the watch so she can end this brief but horrible chapter in her life. All John can think about is getting to the bottom of all Martha's inconsistencies.

John has started around the head table toward Martha. "It sounds to me like it is very important to you. So why don't you stop playing game with me and maybe I'll open the watch." John's voice rises as he speaks.

"What do you mean? I can honestly say I'm not playing any games right now." Martha retorts.

"I'm not stupid I know you've been hiding something. The way you don't ever seem to remember things that happened when we where children! The way you never seem surprised enough about my crazy dreams!" John voice has a force behind it that none of the staff or students have ever heard come form the mild spoken professor before. "The fact that you got a chain for a watch my father was supposed to have given me, only I don't even remember ever owning it!"

Martha has heard this tone enough times before that it doesn't even phase her now especially with the adrenaline pumping through her system. "As I said I am not playing a game and if you want answers just open the stupid watch Doctor!" Martha yells back in response matching John's own intensity.

"Enough!" Mr. Griffin slams his hand down on the table as he stands up. "I don't know what is going on here, but I will not have my staff and faculty acting this way."

"Sir I'm sorry I do not know what came over me." John apologizes quickly having been snapped back to his normal self.

"Sir you are correct our behavior was uncalled for. May we step outside a moment to resolve this issue."

"Martha it appears that suddenly you have forgotten your place; talking to professor Smith in that tone and speaking out like that when I am reprimanding you. Never the less the two of you stepping out side to get some air and calm yourselves is a good idea so I will permit it.

John lays down the watch on the table he was standing next to before following Martha out of the dinning hall in hopes that not having it present will help ease the tension between them.

The doors close behind them and everyone starts talking at once. No one can quite believe what has just happened.

"What was that about?" "If it wasn't his father's watch why did she say it was?" "Why did he thank her for it earlier?" "I told you that Martha was trouble." "I never liked her from the beginning." "This is wonderful I thought there was something mysterious about her before, but this it suggests something bigger then I had imagined."

Yes everyone speaks up at once, everyone besides Timothy. Timothy had been sitting on the end at one of the front student tables, and John had laid the watch right in front of him. Timothy couldn't move his stare away from the watch it was if a siren was calling to him.

"Martha could you at least look at me? I'm sorry I just wanted to see your reaction I didn't think it would be so important to you I just don't understand why you're keeping something from me. I love you you know that and nothing will change that."

"Stop! Just stop." Martha turns around and John notices the tears on her face.

"You want to know fine. You're not in love with me, and you're not John Smith. You are the man from your dreams and if you open the watch you'll remember that."

As John recovers from the shock of Martha's words he finds his voice. "What do you mean?"

"The dreams aren't just dreams there residual memories, and"

"Not that, you said I'm not in love with you. I know what I feel." John says still half stunned.

"I mean you're not in love with me. Remember the girl that was in you're dreams at the start."

"Yes."

"Her name is Rose you lost her the day you saved the earth from the Cybermen and the Darleks. Don't ask me to explain them you'll remember when you open the watch, but you where in love with her you haven't gotten over it yet. So, no you are not in love with me I'm your friend that's it. You don't see me that way so please don't say you love me because..." Martha trails off and drops her head.

"Because why Martha."

"Because it hurts too much. You're not him you're just some mask he put on. You know now that we're not fleeing for our lives I've been thinking about how this all happened and I realize that he could have defeated The Family of Blood. That's who was after us, The Family of Blood. I wondered at first why he didn't even try. We've had people shooting at us before and he's always at least has tried and to now he's always been successful, so why didn't he try. Then I realized two things: before it was always someone else in danger, and the other reason he told me himself though not in so many words. They are the last of there kind,or were they should be dead by now. He would rather run and hide then destroy the last of a species. I suspect that he may even rather die, if it were only his life on the line anyways. So, we ran and we hid, and the mask the TARDIS created for him for some reason has fallen in love with me. Perhaps the TARDIS wanted to make sure that you would trust me enough to listen to what I'm telling you I don't know I'm just tired and I want to go home. So please tell me you'll open the watch if nothing happens then I'm crazy and you can ship me off to a loony bin. Just open the watch and you'll see." Martha leans against a wall emotionally exhausted, and feeling a little defeated.

"Martha are you saying I'm not real. I mean part of me had been hoping to be the man from my dreams, but if what you're saying is true none of me is real. Not even what I feel in my heart."

"Look I don't know how much of you is real. Obviously there is something are you wouldn't have had the dreams, but I'm telling you he is not in love with me, that is all you."

"Will I remember because I don't think I could take remembering how I feel now if I'm not in love with you."

"I don't know."

"Wait if I'm not in love with you then why did I kiss you?" John asks grasping at hope.

"What are you talking about?" Martha looks at John confused then it dawns on her. "Oh, that explains your reaction that morning. That wasn't a kiss it was a genetic transfer."

"A what?"

"You'll remember," Martha begins. "When I open the watch," John finishes her sentence.

"I guess that old saying 'be careful what you wish for" is true. I thought if I was the man from my dreams then nothing would stand in the way of us. Turns out you don't even think I'm in love with you at all."

"So you believe me then?" Martha asks.

"Yes I've believed you from the time you first said it, but I wasn't expecting everything that came along with it. I have one more question for you Martha."

"Go ahead especially if it means you'll open the watch."

"Are you in love with me."

"I barely even know you. If you recall the first two and a half months you treated me like I was barely there half the time. I mean we weren't exactly close. Don't get me wrong If I got to know you then maybe I would fall for you but I hardly know you enough to say and the soul or essence or whatever of my friend is in that watch."

"I mean are you in love with the man In the watch? The man you know."

"I don't think that's an appropriate question."

"Just answer the question and I'll open the watch if you really want me to."

"Yes I am in love with him and I pray to God that he doesn't remember me saying this."

As John goes to respond to Martha's admittance a scream rips through the air."

Both Martha and John run back into the dining hall to see what has happened. They follow everyone's gaze to Timothy on the floor clutching the watch.

"It's horrible so horrible so much death." Timothy is on the floor trembling.

Martha slowly approaches him and stoops down in front of him. "Timothy pass me the watch."

"No, you want him to open the watch and become the man I saw I want let you do it."

"Timothy you don't know what you're doing you can't stop someone form being themselves and you only saw flashes you don't fully understand."

"Why should I believe you?"

"You saw it think I mean really think about what you saw."

"There was death so much death and fear."

"Okay where was the Doctor in all of this."

"He was, he was in the midst of it."

"But, did you see what he was doing."

Timothy sat there a moment trying to understand what he'd seen. He turns his head and looks toward Martha.

"He was standing in the face of all the death and fear." Timothy says this in a hushed awe almost too soft for Martha to hear.

She reaches out her hand and he takes it as they both stand up. Timothy hands Martha the watch. "Sorry I saw all the strange creatures and all the things that he's seen and I didn't know what to think it was a bit overwhelming."

"Don't worry about it. I would imagine it would be. I probably would of done the same thing. In fact I probably would of runaway screaming and refused to listen to anyone if I'd had all that dumped in my mind with no prior warning."

"Thanks but I saw you through his eyes and I don't think you'd ever run away from anything."Timothy says smiling now. "Seeing you through his eyes, you're amazing." Timothy looks at Martha with a bit of awe.

John comes up to stand by Martha. She turns and hands him the watch.

"Wait a minute. We all heard Timothy's scream. John you can not be serious about opening that watch. I mean you're just gonna trust Martha's word that nothing bad is going to happen. So she's good at psychology and got a frightened confused boy to think what she wanted." Joan interjects before John can open the watch.

"I know what I saw," Timothy objects.

"You were sure it was a bad idea to let John open the watch at first." Joan argues convincingly.

"Why don't you just let me make my own decisions Joan I am a grown man and can take responsibility for my own actions."

"With that John opens the watch and a scream rips form him as he doubles over in pain."

"What have you done to him?" Joan accuses Martha invading her personal space.

"I haven't done anything his genetic code is being rewritten to revert back to it's original state. Having every cell in your body rewritten hurts." Martha has turned her head from The Doctor. She can not bare to watch him in that much pain again.

"What do you mean his genetic code is being rewritten that would suggest he's not him? Will he even look the same when this is done!" Joan yells at Martha.

"Yes he'll look the same that's not what was rewritten."

"Then enlighten us what exactly is going to happen to him."

The two women have failed to notice that John has just stood back up.

"Hey, what is going it happen has already happened. So, if you don't mind back off."

Both Joan and Martha's attention snaps back to The Doctor. Joan is shocked that he has spoken to her that way in public.

"John, why would you say that I was worried about your well being."

"Oh, please you just saw the opportunity to harass Martha. Something I don't appreciate so back off." The Doctor tells Joan this and then immediately turns to Martha.

"Hello Martha." The Doctor smiles his signature I'm so glad to see you smile. The Doctor's hands have gone into his pockets and he's rocking from his heals to his toes. This body language makes him seem more like a little boy then usual because of the 1913 clothing he's wearing.

"I take it that means you remember everything." Martha says slowly

"Yeah, I do."

"You know what I said out in the hall. I just needed you to open the watch."

"Oh, of course yeah."

Martha misses the slight disappointment in The Doctor's voice.

"John?" Joan address The Doctor.

"No, John's gone of course John was never really real in the first place. I'm The Doctor. I'd say it's nice to meet you, but I don't particularly like you Ms. Redfern."

"Doctor" Martha admonishes.

"What you don't like her either unless seeing things through John's perspective really through off my ability to read you."

"Doctor enough." Just then the sound of the TARDIS materializing out in the corridor can be heard.

"What is that." Mr. Griffin finally speaks up.

"Oh, that's the TARDIS parking herself out in the corridor. She was set to come to me once I was back, and here I am so there she is. Anyways Mr. Griffin hi it really is nice to meet you. You, you're an honest nice man if a little too uptight for my taste but that's me. You make a pretty good head master in my opinion. Martha where are you going?"

"I'm going to go change into some of my own clothes if you must know and possibly burn this dress." Martha walks to door of the hall. "Oh, Jenny I'll take the journal back now. I appears he won't be needing it."

"What's that?" The Doctor asks.

Martha stops half way out the door and turns around."It's a journal I kept just in case you didn't remember."

"Really, can I read it anyways"

"Why you remember?"

"Yeah, but seeing things from your perspective could be fun."

"Alright, but don't take the threats personally I was upset at the times I wrote them and needed a release. I don't think I'd ever really follow through with any of them." Martha says smiling deviously.

"You don't scare me Martha Jones," with an open challenge in his eyes.

"Several of the threats involved my mother," Martha said simply, making sure to make eye contact.

"I won't read it if you don't want me to," The Doctor quickly agreed after Martha's thinly veild threat.

Smiling triumphantly Martha replied, "Thank you Doctor," With that Martha exited into the corridor and entered the TARDIS.

It only takes Martha about fifteen minutes to change and exit the TARDIS.

"You really aren't human." Joan's voice comes through the doors sounding completely shocked.

Martha enters the hall to find Joan standing over John with a stethoscope. "It's a bit of a shock isn't it the first time you hear those two hearts beating away in his chest." Every one turns as Martha speaks.

A slight mummer goes though the crowd as they take in Martha's clothing. She was wearing jeans, an old shirt with silver lettering that said "Carry On," in a graffiti font, and her favorite red leather jacket.

"Martha you're back wonderful I was wondering what do you think about letting the boys see the inside of the TARDIS."

"If you think that's alright I don't see why not."

"Molto Bene and do you feel better now that you've changed."

"A bit."

"Great, because I would just like to say you haven't exactly made me feel welcomed back considering you haven't seen me in three months!"

Martha laughs at the Doctor's outburst. "I have missed you Doctor." Martha says holding out her arms for a hug. The Doctor get's up and they have one of the hugs where he scoops her off the floor and swings her back and forth.

The Doctor and Martha completely ignore the shocked murmurs that spread through the crowd.

"So now that your back I need to get out of these clothes. I thought about going with you, but I thought it best if one of us stays with them until we leave. Don't want anyone going into shock you know how humans can be."

"Oh, yes us poor humans never able to handle a shocker. How do you ever tolerate all our mental frailties?" Martha looks at The Doctor pointedly.

"Now, don't you start Martha. You know what I meant, and to the point you're pretty unique not everyone handles mass chaos and imminent doom the way you do. I mean not even Rose could do more then follow my instructions. You though, you just tend to run off were you're needed. Don't even wait for me to tell you to. That's the whole reason … Why are you looking at me that way?" The Doctors rant stops abruptly when he notices the look on Martha's face.

"Doctor are you sure none of John Smith isn't left up in that head of yours?" Martha's question is cautious.

"Of course not. Why would you even ask me that?"

"Never mind."

"Don't do that."

"Fine we'll talk later go change."

After the exchange The Doctor leaves the hall. Leaving Martha to face the barrage of questions everyone had been slightly to stunned and afraid to ask The Doctor.

"Hold on, hold on, I, please … Quiet!" Everyone quiets down immediately. "That's better. Now one at a time and I'll answer what I can. Head master maybe you can start."

"Well, is he safe?" No one in the school has ever heard so much uncertainty in Mr. Griffin's voice.

"Safe. Well, if you mean does he intend harm to anyone hear, then no. If you're wondering about the boys going into the TARDIS If they don't touch what their told not to they'll all be fine."

"I noticed you didn't say yes Martha." Mr Griffin's voice again has the command that everyone is use to it carrying.

"I thought it best to be truthful sir. Is he safe for you? Yes. In fact I've seen him defend the earth so many times and he's been doing it for years before I ever met him. More years then I've even been alive, and he doesn't even asked to be thanked. In fact he prefers slipping off without anyone noticing it's just his way."

"How do we know we can trust you. Just because you're human!" Joan interjects venomously.

"I've seen him." Timothy can not sit back anymore. He has come to terms with what he saw, and speaks up. "He's like fire, and ice, and rage. He's like the night, and the storm, and the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and can see the turn of the universe, and he's wonderful."

"Wow, no ones ever described me quite like that before. Mind you could of left off the ancient and the forever parts not quite true though rather I wish it were or not."

Martha's curiosity is aroused not. "You know something I still don't know how old you are?"

"Fine if you must know I'm seven hundred and some change good enough." The Doctor quickly continued just so he wouldn't have to deal with the questions. There was a reason he didn't usual tell human's his age. "Anyways who wants to see the inside of a space and time ship." All the boys and most of the adults turn towards Mr. Griffin with expectant eyes.

"Fine, but if anything happens I will be holding you responsible Doctor." Mr. Griffin points at the Doctor.

"Of course wouldn't have it any other way." Turning quickly on his heels The Doctor marches out into the corridor not looking to see if anyone is following. "Well, is anyone coming or not?" Timothy is the first to follow The Doctor into the Corridor. Everyone else quickly follows suite. Martha waits for everyone else before leaving the dinning hall and joining The Doctor by the doors of the TARDIS.

"Okay 1st don't touch the controls. 2nd stay in the control room. Martha if you would."

Martha take the key form around her neck and rolls her eyes at The Doctor's theatrics as she turn to unlock the door. She enters without fully opening the door, and positions herself to see their reactions as they enter.

"But it's just an old box." Bradford the rich showoff tries to sound intelligent by stating the seemingly obvious in a haughty tone.

"Well, then no one said you have to go in now did they. Stay out here if you like."

Laughter is heard coming form the TARDIS. Timothy steps up to enter, and is stopped by Mr. Griffin. "I think I'll go first." The Doctor rolls his eyes but gestures for him to enter.

"Oh my." Mr. Griffin goes in leaving the door open so that the boys in front can see inside. Timothy follows close behind. The rest quickly follow with Joan bringing up the rear. Those that aren't too shocked to speak, all say it, "It's bigger on the inside." They all have a 'I must be dreaming because this is impossible' look on their faces as well. All except Timothy because he'd seen it all when he'd opened the watch.

"I think you should keep this"

Timothy turn around to see The Doctor holding out the watch to him. He takes it. "I can't hear anything anymore."

"That's because it's served it's purpose. I'm not in there anymore. It's just an ordinary watch now, but it's something to remember me by."

"I could never forget you Doctor."

"Alright that's enough of that." The Doctor suddenly announces and turns ending the conversation with Timothy. "Time to go everyone out."

Everyone filter's out slower then they came in.

Timothy is the only one left inside with Martha and The Doctor.

"It's coming isn't it."

"What's coming?" The Doctor looks at Timothy wondering what he's seen.

"A war. A war more terrible then we've ever known before."

"Yes it is." The Doctor is solemn

"You don't have to fight." Martha finds she's grown to like Timothy rather a lot for his kindness and doesn't like the idea of him in danger.

"Yes I do."

"You could get hurt."

"So could you traveling around with him it doesn't stop you."

"Just take care of yourself."

"You to."

Timothy exits the TARDIS with the Doctor behind him.

"John," Ms. Redfern's voice is heard over the excited voices of the boys.

Both Martha and the Doctor turn to look at her. Some of the boys near by do too.

"I mean Doctor couldn't I come with you? Wouldn't having a nurse on board be useful?" Ms. Redfern speaks with a half smile grasping at the last strand of hope.

The Doctor isn't kind and gentle when he responds. "Why would we need you I know far more about human biology then you ever will, and Martha was half a year away from completing her residency before I came along. On top of that she already has experience treating me and therefore is of far more use to me then you can ever be."

When he was done talking the Doctor abruptly turned to Mr. Griffin, paying no notice to the down trodden look mixed with utter humiliation on Joan Redfern's face.

"Okay then is everyone accounted for Mr. Griffin? Don't want to take off with someone still aboard."

"Yes everyone is here," Was all Mr. Griffin could manage with the shock of everything still slowing his normally quick wit.

"Good. Allons-y" The Doctor closes the door without even saying bye, and the TARDIS disappears.

**AN: So I hope you can forgive the wait I hope I made it worth it you want have to wait so long for the next chapter I already know how it's gonna go.**


	15. Out of Time

**For the longest time I thought I had ended this particular story, but I never got around to marking it complete. I realize now I wasn't quite finished so now I present the end to my little tale. **

"So about that talk you promised me." The Doctor says as he turns form the console to Martha.

"As I recall I promised to talk to you tomorrow. Right now I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed with no alarm clock and don't you bother me until I come out of my room on my own." Martha turns around and heads toward the corridor.

"I never said thank you for taking care of me. Thank you Martha Jones. You where brilliant and pulled it off with beauty and grace. Well, grace ninety percent of the time." The Doctor added the last bit mostly to get Martha to continue talking to him.

Martha rounded on the Doctor at his last words. "Ninety percent of the time. I'll have you know..." Then she realized what he had said right before grace and she could have stopped the next words out of her mouth, but that hope she thought she had killed made her not want to. "Are you sure John is nowhere in that head of yours still Doctor?"

"Of course I'm sure. Seriously Martha he wasn't even real to begin with if anything I was still in John's head the whole time as evidenced by the dreams."

Martha decided to keep on this track though she couldn't be sure if he had intended to give her such an opening or not. "You are right of course. I guess I just didn't realize how much of you was lying under the surface of John. Driving his actions by emotional responses. Which brings several questions to mind."

The Doctor grows nervous. He had intended to plant the seed in Martha's head, but he hadn't wanted to deal with things directly. He had hoped that the pretending that he hadn't noticed Martha's interest and she pretending everything was fine could just evolve. He hoped they would pretend that they had been on this track all along, and just slip into whatever relationship they could slip into. No mess no fuse he liked the idea.

Martha is not about to let anything of the kind happen. She wants answers and she wants them now. "First, when did you decided that is wasn't a crime to admit that I might be better at anything then Rose? Second, why did you refer to me using the word beauty?"

That's when the Doctor cut in. "I'm sure I've called you beautiful before."

"Oh! You most certainly have not mister. Never even called me pretty. Sure Rose was beautiful. Rose was gorgeous! I, one the other hand, was always only ever brilliant like a ... like a... like a professor praising a student. Don't think for one minute that there is anyway to worm out of this one answer my questions. You wanted to talk so I guess you're getting your wish!"

"Uh, I guess I never took a second look at us before." The Doctor had never had to search for words so hard in his life, and Martha was not helping she just stared waiting for his response internally bracing herself hoping not to shatter when he broke her heart for what she knew must be the last time if she would ever recover. Now she had laid to much on the table. Sure, she hadn't come straight out and said it, but she said to much to stay when he crushed her heart one last time. She is so wrapped up in her internal preparations about how to ask to be taken home she almost missed the Doctor's next words. The words that would change everything.

"I guess the dreams let me do that. They forced me to look at you and how I'd treated you. I am so sorry I've held on because I thought I'd failed Rose and had to hold on as some type of penance. I didn't let myself admit that I had fallen in love with you."

Martha isn't prepared for it, so she shatters in the most satisfying way. The Doctor had managed to break down every barrier and vestige of willpower Martha posses, so she begins to cry.

The words have cost the Doctor so much. He fills weak from the effort of forcing each word out, and when Martha begins to cry he thinks he might just collapse. That is until Martha runs across the room and flings herself into his arms.

**Epilogue:** They did not live happily to the end of Martha's days. They still went through the Year That Never Was. After that they frequently visited Martha's family at least once a year. They usually showed up on Christmas. They were happy, but one day Martha's knees hurt after all the running in their latest adventure and she realized she could not run with her Doctor forever. She gave him a long kiss goodbye before she left him with her old phone because she would not have him disappear.

It was a much older Martha that Donna meet when they saved the world from the Sontarans.

She was a little older still when she appeared in her mother's house after the dangerous transport. "Mom!"

"Martha you you're so much older. Where is he? What happened? I know you didn't forget about us."

"Mom slow down. I'll be here this Christmas or I would have been. It's complicated and timey whimey" at that Martha stops and smiles at an old memory, "but mom if a miracle happens and you do see me this Christmas you can't say anything to me about all of this or to him. We can't know, time lines and all. I love you mom."

That was the last time Martha talked to her mom before she went to the hospital her mother was dying in. Where the nurses assumed they were sisters.

When the Doctor saved Micky form the Sontaran he was not with Martha, but a young women that, if the Doctor had been closer or not dying, he would have noticed bared a passing resemblance to his granddaughter Susan. As it was he assumed that her reaction was due to whatever Micky had told her about him.

It was Martha that the Doctor said goodbye to last. In such pain that he could barely feel the effects of the radiation he held her hand as she breathed her last. The nurses rushed to him when he doubled over after leaving her room saying things about the shock of losing a close loved one, but he just waved them off and rounded a corner and silently slipped into a supply closet. The nurses went after Martha's nephew Mr. Smith when they heard the strange noise and felt the breeze around their ankles. They did not find Mr. Smith only that the inventory sheets hung on the back of the supply closet door had fallen and some had slipped under the door out into the hall. A few nurses would recall hearing that same sound before Mr. Smiths arrival, but it wouldn't be until the next day when the receptionist was in the staff break room that everyone would discover Mr. Smith had not come through the front door.

So in a way the tenth Doctor died with the woman he loved most, before another man went swaggering off with all his memories.

**The End.**


End file.
